if you can't beat them, join them

If you are unable to outdo rivals in some endeavor, you might as well cooperate with them and thereby possibly gain an advantage. If your adversaries are stronger than you, it is better to join the adversaries. If you have to give up fighting some group because you can't win, band together with them.

If you can't win the battle, join the winning side. If you can't beat them, join them.

35👍 5👎

You can't run from the rickshaw man

Something that's impossible. It's like trying to run from a man that makes his living by running with a rickshaw all day long. He's going to catch you.

Guy - I didn't pay my taxes and now I have to pay even more.

Friend - You dumbass, you can't run from the rickshaw man!

14👍 1👎

I can't believe you looked that up

My response to anyone who looked that up.

Seriously, I can't believe you looked that up...

70👍 13👎

can't walk and chew gum at the same time

A person who is extremely clumsy, or who often is sporting bandages covering minor injuries, might be said to be incapable of "walking and chewing gum at the same time".

After the third time in one month that the new office assistant was electrocuted while trying to clear a paper jam in the office copier, the supervisor shook his head and asked the Personnel office to move the employee to another department with no machinery in it, as "this guy can't walk and chew gum at the same time".

12👍 2👎

7 words you can't say on t.v.

The 7 words that will never be spoken on TV. Created by George Carlin. They are shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

The 7 words you can't say on t.v.:Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

485👍 149👎

This is why we can't have nice things

1.) The inability to possess quality goods or services.

2.) Shit we can't have.
3.) Used to describe the consequences of an asshole.

1.) "God dammit Schmidt, this is why we can't have nice things."
2.) "He pissed on my desk, this is why we can't have nice things."
3.) "You grabbed her ass, this is why you can't have a nice thing."

133👍 40👎

I don't even, I can't even

When someones met with such a high level of stupidity and bullshit they just don't know how to respond.

Weirdo With a Tinfoil hat"Schools are brainwashing us! We come from the moon! We are moon babies who eat moon cheese!"

Person"I don't even, i can't even..."