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This is the most offensive sexual act that has ever been performed in the history of Canada. It involves moose antlers, a gallon of maple syrup, 14.5 people. This makes the "Aristocrats" seem like soft core porn!
Canadian #1 : "Did you hear that the magazine 'The Beaver' is changing its name to 'Canada's History' because of the porn filters on search engines?"
Canadian #2 : "Oh no! Don't they know that 'Canada's History' is a lot worse than 'The Beaver'!!! What have they done!
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The act of giving oral sex to a moose while simultaneously having the exact number of gallons that can be filled into the Stanley Cup injected into the anal cavity with its left antler. The right antler is simply impossible within the current laws of physics.
My god. I just found out the definition of Canada's History. That is... wonderful.
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After having intercourse with a woman tied down to five points like a maple leaf, ejaculate into a cup of of maple syrup and feed that to the little elf from load of the rings while his little fat retarded friend blows him to O Canada.
last night really was worse than a Canada's History.
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A sexual act that involves a can of shaving cream, Wayne Gretzky autographed hockey stick, Best of Bryan "Too Cool for an I" Adam's Cassette tape and magic.
This act can only be performed on a female. She must be laying in spread eagle like a maple leaf while her partner rams the Wayne Gretzky hockey stick in her anal cavity while the can of shaving cream in inserted into her vagina with the nozzle sticking outward. While the hockey sticking is thrusting back and forth the shaving is to be spayed up in the air to simulate snow. The Bryan Adam's Cassette tape is to be played in the background.
Hey honey, Wayne Gretzky's hockey stick is still up my ass after we went over Canada's History last night.
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When you're going down on your girlfriend while simultaneously eating poutine.
My girlfriend was mad cause I gave her some Canada's History last night; she spent most of the night washing cheese curds out of her beaver.
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A sex act so depraved that Stephen Colbert could not describe it on air in his Feb 4, 2010 episode. His only hints were that the act involved moose antlers, a jar of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.
The act itself consists of three parts, and therefore requires three people: the first person must don the antlers, and ram into the other two as much as possible, while blind-folded, thus exhibiting the mating behavior of the Canadian moose. The second person is the one in possession of the Stanley Cup, and must apply the syrup to it, so as to lubricate it for the final act. Finally, the third person is either entered through the vagina or the anus with the Stanley Cup.
Man, that was one rough night last night. My friends and I tried to recreate Canada's History. I was on the receiving end of the Stanley Cup... I'm still sore...
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When you shove a Canadian Goose up your ass and use your free healthcare to repair your damaged anus.
"I just got back from the doctor's office, one more Canada's History and I'll be shitting feathers for the rest of my life."
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