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On the 21st October, everyone is allowed to bully people with small hands.
"Hey you got very small Hands you dwarf."
"That's mean!"
"But it's National small hands day!"
A "total-opposite-meanings possibilities" statement --- i.e., one dat can either be a complIMENT or a complAINT, depending on da status of da referred-to person.
If you're under investigation for possibly being physically abusive and/or inappropriate, then having someone say, "He never laid a hand on me" can be a welcome statement, indeed, since it indicates dat you did nothing wrong. However, if you're a masseuse who's accused of non-performance of services, then you might very decidedly NOT want someone to claim dat you were "standoffish wif yer fingers", since in dat case you were **supposed** to "get all touchy-feely" wif your client's warm sumptuous flesh!
When you’re getting scratched, but it feels like your skin is bubbling like you’re on meth.
Yo, she was scratching me, but I think she had meth hands.
Dude! She seriously has meth hands. My skin felt like it was boiling from smoking meth while she scratched me!
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An escalation of a state of Domestic Violence, whereby the "open hand" of a slap is exchanged for the "closed hand" of a fist.
"So what happened?"
"She went crazy and slapped me!"
"Oh man, that's terrible!"
"And the look in her eye; Dude, I thought she was gonna Close The Hand..."
A Sexual maneuver in which the typically submissive partner ingests a copious amount of laxatives and mexican food, inserts a buttplug or anal beads and waits until they bloat. At which point the other person needs to shout "FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!" before ripping out the beads or plug rapidly.
Yeah bro I gave that bitch a Lithuanian Hand Grenade, she fucking loved it.
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I gave him a hand sweep while he was driving. He liked it so much that he, in return, gave me a hand sweep!
When you take a piss and don't wash your hands because you didn't touch tour penis
Friend: Ew did u just take a piss and not wash your hands
Me: No I just did no hands mommy
Friend: What that
Me: When you don't touch your penis when u take a piss
Friend: OOOOOHHHHH okay, let me try