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How do you like them Apple

This is what you say to someone who's Macintosh computer just crashed so to remind them that owning a Mac doesn't make them better of a kind.
Essentially the Good Will Hunting version of "on Linux that wouldn't happen".

Bob {presenter}: "To conclude this talk let me show you..."

{Clicks his MacBook to switch to next slide in the presentation when the computer crashes and a white screen fills the conference room, while he fumbles in a futile effort to fix it}
Alice {from the audience}: "
How do you like them Apple?!"

by Clit Teaser October 3, 2016

8๐Ÿ‘ 35๐Ÿ‘Ž


Do you want to take a shot at the title?

Do you want to take a shot at the title?
Is what you say if someone hits you. As you might have inadvertently angered them, you say "okay, I'll give you that one for free" insinuating that the next one will cost you.

My dad's new wife pissed off a bikey. He had words with her, and I might add 'not very nice one's'. So my Dad picked up a bar stool and wrapped it around the guy's head. (Do you want to take a shot at the title? Did not apply here in this instance) So he had to lay low for awhile till the bikey got over it.

by Bryn Benn April 17, 2020

1๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


do you know the tragadey of darth plaugies the wise

Ironic he could save others from death but not himself sheev palpatine

do you know the tragadey of darth plaugies the wise

by @therealSheevPalpatine January 16, 2018

3๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Do you have any hand sanitizer?

(interjection) a remark requesting hand sanitizer, synonymous with "I just wiped my butt without washing my hands afterwards."

Guy 1: Do you have any hand sanitizer?

Guy 2: Come on, man, you just gave me a high five.

by RickBAideai March 17, 2011

2๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž


Itโ€™s 10 PM; do you know where your children are?

Itโ€™s 10 PM; do you know where your children are? โ€” This was a regional program bumper / public service announcement from the late 1960โ€™s through to the late 1980โ€™s. In some regions, there was an 11 PM variant. This was sometimes the lead in to news programs. But best of all, it was NIGHTMARE FUEL for some of the best childhood ghost stories and URBAN MYTHS that kept a kid awake at night after scary stories were inappropriately told to them by mischievous baby sitters.

No mommy, this never happened to meโ€ฆhonest!!!!!!! Nor, was I ever the perpetrator of telling such a tale.

โ€ฆAnd then while the mom was watching t.v., a man came on the screen and said, โ€œItโ€™s 10 PM; do you know where your children are?โ€. A shiver went down the motherโ€™s spine so she went to check on her kids. When she opens the door there was a man standing over her children's dead bodies holding a bloody butcher knife. AND HE WAS WEARING A BUNNY SUITโ€ฆ

by Mind Hunter the Profiler February 25, 2023

144๐Ÿ‘ 8๐Ÿ‘Ž


Do you want to know how I got these scars?

What the Joker says to people before telling them a story about how he got the scars on the sides of his mouth in The Dark Knight.

The first story involves his drunk father killing his mother, then cutting the sides of his son's mouth with a knife to make it appear as if he is always smiling. This is where the line "Why So Serious?" is said in the movie.

The second story is different, in which he talks about his wife. He states that he puts a razor in his mouth and moves it around, therefore cutting himself, giving himself more scars.

Story 1: Do you want to know how I got these scars? My father was a drinker, and a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me, and he says, "Why so serious?" He comes at me with the knife, "Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth, "Let's put a smile on that face!" And...Why so serious?

Story 2: Well, you look nervous. Is it the scars? Do you wanna know how I got them? C'mere...Hey, look at me...So I had a wife. Beautiful, like you, who tells me I worry too much; who tells me I oughta smile more, who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks. Hey...One day they carve her face. We have no money for surgeries; she can't take it. I just want to see her smile again. Hm? I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars! So, I stick a razor in my mouth and do this to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now i'm always smiling!

by Painted in Laughter August 18, 2008

501๐Ÿ‘ 62๐Ÿ‘Ž


Do you think i Japanese like a school girl

when someone of male gender giggles like a little Japanese school girl and asks his friends if he giggles like a Japanese school girl while high on massive amounts of weed.

Gay 1: oh my god you giggle like a Japanese school girl

Gay 2: WTF? DO YOU THINK I JAPANESE LIKE A SCHOOL GIRL!

by Archduke of Douchebags January 13, 2019