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"When something can go wrong, it will go wrong"
- Murphy
I missed my date beaucse of the fucking Murphy Law
43👍 11👎
the fattest, ugliest, meanest, most fake, evil, stinkiest thing (with chin hair) you can imagine.
If my mother in law wasn't so gross and ever got laid she might not be such a cunt.
44👍 10👎
The best friend of your wife or girlfriend, similar to a sister-in-law.
Are your coming with us to the game?
No, I have to go over to my friend-in-law's house to put up storm windows.
79👍 23👎
Roger's Law states that a person is much more likely to act like a douchebag on the internet than they would if they were dealing with a person face to face. Specifically starting arguments just to be annoying and make people angry.
He seemed like a pretty okay dude when I met him but then after I friended him on Facebook Roger's Law kicked in and he became an absolute Troll.
32👍 7👎
If you are attracted to a girl, the odds of her being single are approxomately 1 in 10; and if she is single, your odds with her are inversely proportional to how much you like/are attracted to her.
I met a girl the other day...but Guilbault's Law screwed me over again.
32👍 7👎
An extortion racket whereby children are taken from fathers as an excuse to justify taking his wealth and income, with the proceeds divided between the mother and lawyers.
The difference between kidnapping and family law is that kidnappers sometimes give the children back after they get the money.
26👍 5👎
Bigots' Law states that the first to shout "bigot" at another in a discussion is the most bigoted bigot in said discussion!
Also known as "dropping a b bomb".
The OED defines "bigoted" as "having or revealing an obstinate belief in the superiority of one’s own opinions and a prejudiced intolerance of the opinions of others".
In political discussions often the word "bigot" (also known as the "b" word) is used as a mere insult by particular groups who adhere to a certain dogma, and shout accusations using the "b" word towards those who have differing opinions to themselves. Thus, actually meeting the definition of the "b" word themselves.
Analyses of political discussions show that in 95% of all uses, the most intolerant and bigoted people are those first to use the "b" word in a discussion. These people therefore break Bigots' Law, and contribute nothing to the actual discussion other than insulting another person with an attempted ad hominem slur or character assassination; thus the shouter of "bigot" is showing prejudiced intolerance towards differing opinion.
"Yous are bigots for having that opinion - how dare yous disagree with our superior opinion!" - this statement qualifies under "Bigots' Law" and highlights the sheer bigotry of calling someone a "bigot".
"Dropping a b bomb" is the logical equivalent to pulling a pin in a grenade and letting it explode in your own hand.
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