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He is a lovely man. He will do anything to make your day better. He also has a HUGE dick
“Jonathan Martínez is such a nice guy”
“Yea”
“I heard he has a huge dick”
2👍 1👎
A closer for the Boston Red Sox who single-handedly blew his team's entire 2009 season in one winning against the Angels.
When the All Star Game was held in New York in 2008 he made the mistake of saying he should close instead of Mariono Rivera. Rivera is both the Yankees' closer and best closer of all time so you think it goes without saying that he gets to close when the game is held in his team's city.
Papelbon, who is from Louisiana and probably didn't finish grade school, didn't understand this and when Yankee fans expressed their outrage at his comment, he claimed he became frightened for his pregnant wife when him and her participated in the parade before the game.
He is a complete moron and yokel who probably has sex with his sister.
Baseball fan: How did the Red Sox do in the playoffs in 2009?
Red Sox fan: They did pretty well but if it wasn't for Jonathan Papelbon who knows how far they could've gone.
Baseball fan: Yeah, he really fucked you guys huh?
Red Sox fan: Amazing how 1 guy was able to blow an entire season in 1 inning.
19👍 31👎
A LIMPET, VAJAY-JAY, WEE POTATO EATING LEPRECHAUN, WANKER
JONATHAN WATSON LIKES TO GO HUG A ROCK FOR FUN AND PLAY HOT POTATO WITH HIS KINFOLKS THE LEPRECHAUNS.
4👍 4👎
Governer of Massachusetts from 1730 to 1741
Kid - Who was the Governer of Massachusetts from 1730 to 1741?
Parent - Why Jonathan Belcher of course!
3👍 3👎
See: Jamie Storr
Another wasted first round.
LGK FAN 1: Who is the best goaltender ever?
LGK FAN 2: Jonathan Bernier!
Voice of reason: Jonathan Bernier is no better than Jamie Storr.
5👍 7👎
A great guy nice, fun, kind, caring, he just has some weird shit going on behind the scenes. Jonathans are known for being fucked up just enough for you to never want to talk to them again, physically or mentally. Ex: disturbingly deep or high voice, way to big or way to small where it counts, way to big or way to small in general, just plain old weird shit all around, he is nice but mostly just grosses you out.
Man I wish I would have known he was a Jonathan. I almost threw up when I saw the amount of hair between his toes .
2👍 16👎
An absolute stud. A Jonathan is ripped with bulging biceps and a defined six pack. All the ladies love Jonathan but are intimidated by his pure amazingness. A Jonathan Is very social and popular but also very easy to talk to. Jonathans also enjoy the best music as they listen to Xxxtentacion regularly. One of the best things about a Jonathan is how humble he is; even though he is exceptional at every sport and video game, he is never cocky and always kind. The sexiest Jonathan’s prefer to be called “Pigeon Boy”.
Girl #1 :did you hear about that kid who broke the weight lifting record?
Girl #2 : yeah his name is Jonathan Cassin, but he is way out of our league.
6👍 11👎