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A strategy in which you turn into a literal child and cease all forms of communication with your loved ones. This method or strategy is called “The Benjamin” ladies and gents, *Use at your own risk, if you lose your girlfriends/boyfriends - blame Benjamin*
Just be dry and passive or something, yk..The Benjamin.
Some one that is dependent on mls and dick to survive
Oh look Steve has turned into a A Benjamin ingram
benjamin johnathan briggery briggs aka "the skinwalker" , "boogalie" or simply "it", is a large, lankey, orange being known to roam around public parks and lithuanian embassys during the night trying to capture little boys to use in its experiments. it is known for being a test subject for heffley trafficking inc. its true form is believed to be so revolting, slimy, hideous, oily and dandruffy that anyone who comes into contact with it is simply too shocked and horrified to breath. for centuries there have been reported sightings of it and its lovers, xaviwavi, jamal and zac. in order to summon this ungodly creature the words "i cant do a pushup" , "i enjoy watching porn" or simply "we go jim" must be recited 3x and it is believed to show up immeadiatley and suck you through its phat hairy orange arsehole to the heffley trafficking inc dimension where you or your test subject will be experimented on. there are some well known repellants that have been used against it are: basic hygene, regular porn, hentai, women and people who are against crypto.
A- "bro there was some 8ft thingy hiding near that house!"
B- "oh fuck, be careful it may be benjamin johnathan briggery briggs"
A Benjamin Franklin ska enthusiast.
"Boy howdy, you seen that Benjamin Skanklin? That boy sure does listen to that ska music all the time."
A person of the male gender who is one of the sexiest men out there. he can give the best sex and also gives the best head to women, he is also the biggest stud out there, he got his name from his friends cos they were all jealous of him. he also chooses the best porn, he can also steal any girl from you.
"oh fuck Benjamin Antonini just stole my girl. what a bloody stud"
Benjamin Evelyn Waters:
Born: (sometime in the 1800s per his demeanor)
Died: September 27th, 2035
Born in the quaint town of Heidelberg MS Benjamin Evelyn Waters was the proud adopted and abducted son to a family of beavers. Strange as it may sound, Benjamin surely enjoyed his grueling education in his younger years as he learned to stop up the city’s water supply with twigs and dead cats as he used his bodily functions as jet propulsion through the various streams and sewers. He became well known for his skills in sticky things and outlandish sentences, so much so that a community near his town was promptly named in honor of his frequent visits to its meadows where he delivered copious amounts of Benjamin Evelyn Waters seedlings to fellow female beavers.
Benjamin Evelyn Waters pursued his aspirations to leave his primitive ways, and become a great man. Sadly, this did not happen. He did however become a very accomplished literary writer. He is best known for his auto-biography: “The Transgressing Life of a Silent But Deadly Man,” and his renowned poem, “Oh My Weary Soul, Why Hast Thou Fucked Me?”
Not much is known about Benjamin Evelyn Waters middle-age years, as no one cared to record his life events. This, as he would later go on to comment, “ was not anyone’s fucking business anyway.“
Benjamin Evelyn Waters died on Sept 27th, 2035 after farting so violently that his heart burst asunder.
He is survived by his concubine, Desiree, and his son Theodore Relevance Waters
“Here lies Benjamin Evelyn Waters amidst a field of roses.
The gas could not wait, but the strain was too great,
And now he drinks with Moses.”