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This…is my Jesus is a flexibly productive ejaculation describing any person; event; timing, or situation P.E.T.S that nurtures a person as he or she experiences a tremendous personal growth spurt while maximizing their human potential. For some people it may actually be Jesus; but for others it could be a city; a person; love; a drug; a mystical experience; or a damn good burger with all the fixings. The use of this saying is very individually driven. Often usages of this saying conflict. It takes balls to use this expression publicly..
Here are some examples of how to use “This…is my Jesus” in a sentence:
Man eating a Fat Burger:”Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, this burger is my Jesus!”
Offended friend sitting with him: FOOL!!!!!! “Jesus is my Jesus”.
Man smoking particularly good Hawaiian Kona Kush exhaling and saying: “This Kush is my Jesus.”
A single man spending a month in Amsterdam overlooking the canal: “This city is my Jesus.”
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Jesus version 2.0, the second coming.
Jesus II, THIS time, it's personal.
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When a person attends Sunday Church Service and passes off the Collection Plate without putting a cent on it thus receiving a sermon for free like a dirty Gypsy.
Reverend Sharpton was preaching up a storm as the Collection Plate was getting full with $20 bills. Ol' Otis just dished it off to the next person without even blinking twice. Everyone knows he's a Jesus Gypsy and won't drop a dime.
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A term used to describe an objects insanely high rate of speed.
joe: why were you late for work today mike?
mike: cause the douche-bag who drives the bus insists that he blow by my stop at Mach Jesus so he doesnt have to pick anyone up, so i missed it.
Creepin Jesus is a term used by the tow trucking industry to describe those who who are act as their dogsbody. The Creepin Jesus is never allowed to perform anything but the most basic of menial tasks, yet they think that they are invaluable to the industry and can often be heard telling whoever will listen, how many friends they have and how important they are. Sometimes the Creepin Jesus will take exception to their name, so other names, such as Bozo and Fuckhead are often substituted. It is easy to identify a Creepin Jesus. Just look for someone in a wheelchair and the Creepin Jesus will be the one running away.
They call him Creepin, Creepin Jesus.
“Lesbian Jesus” is given to the holy, Hayley Kiyoko a singer, by her fans.
Lesbian Jesus strikes again
I love you Lesbain Jesus
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When a female is ravished and starving, because her man has fucked her brains out for hours, yet she can’t even move To get nourishment because of how hard she has been dicked down.......and out of nowhere her BF brings her a fresh, home made taco, warmed, and on a plate, w napkin, for her to consume in bed. Taco Jesus
1. I was laying there stunned, and then the next thing I know, like a sign from above....there is a hot man, handing me a perfectly warm and delicious taco......Taco Jesus had arrived.
2. Do you know how many women would kill for just one night with Taco Jesus, honey you better wake up, and marry that man. That shit don’t happen anymore with fuckboys and Opie’s everywhere!