Paint your own portrait

For a gentleman to attempt to cum in his own face...

Technique - lie on your back with a pillow behind your head. With a rolling motion bring your knees as far back towards your head as possible (you may hold your legs with your free arm) Point and shoot...

Good luck and make sure the door is locked

Mike: "I am bored"

Lee: "You could always pop into the other room and try to paint your own portrait?"

Mike: "Good idea - I think I shall..."

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blowing his own trumpet

To boast about oneself, to speak very proudly and positively about oneself. In AmE, "to blow one's own horn"

John is blowing his own trumpet again, he is telling everyone he is the best sales manager of our Company.

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smelling your own shit

When you go back and re-look over something you created for the glory and pride you feel in the product that you created.

What you up to dog?

Nothin man. I was looking at emails and then started re-reading what I emailed, past conversations I had.

Stop smelling your own shit, man. Do something productive like READ or GO OUTSIDE

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cook his own pancakes

Is a phrase used normally when a mother is overly worried about her post-adolescent child(ren). The phrase is spoken by the friends of the child and is a way of calming the mother.

"Where's my son? Is he alright? Is he hurt? Oh my Lord!"
"Don't worry Mrs. S, Jimmy can still cook his own pancakes."

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you poke it you own it

A reference to a Budweiser commercial where an overloaded table server sticks a free finger in a bottle of Budweiser in order to serve one more item.

Its now some type of "Man Law"

Bob: Hey Bryan, are you gonna eat that ::sticks his finger in Bryan's food::

Bryan: You poke it you own it.

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Blowing your own Penis

The no questions asked way of telling someone they are blowing their own horn. Leave nothing to the imagination and surprise people today!

Tell them exactly what you're thinking instead of dressing it up with metaphors.

Person1: Oh my gosh dude I'm so hot that even KATIE would digg to have me.
Person2: Dude, stop blowing your own penis.
Person1: Ouch dude, real ouch.

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Snuff my own seed

Slang term for getting an abortion

Herman Cain: And if you make a little mistake with one of your ho’s, you’ll want to dispose of that problem toot sweet, no questions asked, right?

Anonymous black man: Naw, that’s too cold. I don’t snuff my own seed…

Herman Cain: Huh. Really? (pause) Well, maybe you do have a reason to vote Republican!

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