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Chuck Norris

A man who owns no coffee pot because he grinds the coffee beans with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage!

All you Chuck Norris haters have nothing better to do than blast him for what you say are failed attempts, lame, douchebag, or fake hollywood exaggerations of a normal man, but I can tell you that he OWNS his own tae-kwon-do and Karate dojos, and will kick your ass without as much a courtesy as a roundhouse kick to the face, but to your BALLS! Did you ever think that all that mid-2000 hype was just what they were? JOKES!! I honestly doubt that a single Chuck Norris Facts joke creator/inventor ever had a serious belief that the man was god himself or that the information was even possible (except for sneezing with his eyes open, that is very possible for many people, check out myth busters). All you haters hating on Norris and his fans are claiming him to be a failure...He still makes millions every year, he is in better shape than all of you, and has more houses than you will ever sleep in your entire life! Last time I checked, failures don't get what they want... Norris got almost everything. Beat that Bitches!

by roundhouse_kick_warning July 28, 2011

14๐Ÿ‘ 5267๐Ÿ‘Ž


Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris: 'nough said

1. What the hell happened?

2. Chuck Norris

1. oh...

by XyessireebobX April 2, 2011

11๐Ÿ‘ 5280๐Ÿ‘Ž


chuck norris

the matrix is just a codename the real name is chuck norris.

neo said he was the matrix....
and nobody heard from him again.

screw the matrix belive in chuck norris

by kaiser 1337 August 22, 2006

8๐Ÿ‘ 5288๐Ÿ‘Ž


Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris Has No meaning.

He is Meaning.

He will find you.
He will kill you.
He knows who uou are.

Chuck Norris doesn't use examples

by Cat with A Bowtie March 16, 2015

4๐Ÿ‘ 2366๐Ÿ‘Ž


Chuck Norris

The manliest person on earth

Facts about Chuck Norris:

-Chuck Norris was born on may 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day.
(Look it up)

-Even after getting his ass kicked by Bruce Lee, he was still the manliest person on earth.
(He still is)

-When Chuck was only a few months old, he got sick and sneezed. That sneeze is now known as Hiroshima.

When he was in his 20's, he sneezed again. That sneeze is now known as Tsar Bomba.

-There was once actually life on mars. Then there was Chuck Norris on mars.

-Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Slenderman.

-Most people cut butter with a knife. Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.

-Chuck Norris once played a game of russian roulette with all the bullets in (and went first). He won.

-Chuck Norris was once bitten by a snake. The snake died 2 days later.

-Whenever Chuck Norris steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.

-Chuck Norris acted in Star Wars. His role was the Force.

-Chuck Norris has a gmail account. It is:
gmail@chucknorris(dot)com

-Chuck Norris does not do push-ups; he just pushes the earth down.

-Under his beard, there is only another fist.

- Before the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

-When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into a Chuck Norris.

-Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.

-Chuck Norris does not need a GPS. He decides where he is.

Chuck Norris is the most badass motherfucker that has ever lived.

by Name removed by the NSA December 11, 2013

6๐Ÿ‘ 4886๐Ÿ‘Ž


Chuck Norris is so amazing don't fuck with him bitch

One bad-ass son of a bitch, this man kicks anyone and everyones ass, so don't get on his bad side mother fucker.

Chuck Norris can eat a Rubik cube and poop it out solved.
Chuck Norris isn't God but he can beat him at golf.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris is so amazing don't fuck with him bitch

by FAS7 187 January 19, 2011

18๐Ÿ‘ 9๐Ÿ‘Ž


Chuck Norris

Chuck saw you read this. Chuck doesn't know who the are. Just kidding. He who find you. And he will kill you.

Chuck Norris is going to hunt me down.

by brosiog November 1, 2014

3๐Ÿ‘ 2569๐Ÿ‘Ž