Do you speak English?

What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual. What do you call someone who speaks only one language? An American. The question is pretty much how Americans traveling abroad greet the locals.

Saying "Do you speak English?" can either get you around or get you kidnapped, tortured, killed and having your family discover your fate on CNN anywhere around the world. Asking the question is ok in a place where you see a McDonald's. It is not ok and you should avoid places where electricity and potable water are a luxury to ask the question.

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I Speak The Truth

An Antonymic phrase;

If the phrase is spoken repeatedly over a prolonged amount of time, it is very likely untrue.

I don't want to be in charge, I Speak The Truth x 15

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Speaking from your rectum

The refined way of saying "talking out of your ass"

Father (to son): Watch the skies, boy! There's chemtrails EVERYWHERE!!
Mother (to father): Honey, you promised no more speaking from your rectum during dinner...

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i don't speak japanese

phrase used after someone says something to you, but you have no idea what the hell he/she is talking about.

person: dude! did you know that mathematicians have discovered that the convergence of a sequence also means that for every epsilon greater than zero, there exists an number "N" such that if "n" is greater than "N" then the absolute value of the limit subtracted by the term is less than epsilon?
you: ....uhhh...
you: **short pause**
you: i don't speak japanese

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i dont speak tags

when someone says something in roblox and it comes out as (######################) you say "i dont speak tags"

RobloxUser123: ##############
CoolgamerProMaxGod: i dont speak tags

Do you speak Jawn?

A question you ask someone to determine if "Jawn" is a part of their regular vocabulary, and thus whether they speak in an Eastern Pennsylvanian dialect. Jawn is a slang pronoun that originated in Philly. It can be used to refer to any person, place, or thing.

Billy: "Do you speak Jawn?"
Bob: "What the fuck is a John?"
Billy: "Clearly you don't. I guess you're not from Philly."

I'll be speaking to my lawyer!

The adult way of saying "Im telling my mom!"

Idiot: I broke your toy
Idiot #2: I'll be speaking to my lawyer!