Monkey Llama Horn

When a monkey and a llama have a horn.

Dude.... look a Monkey Llama Horn. Sweet.

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Time to Shoot the Monkey

Something to be said when you run out of stuff to say in an internet chatroom. Not as gross as it sounds.

prplppltr1: ...
hawtchick12: ...
prplppltr1: welp, time to shoot the monkey
hawtchick12: eww

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Monkey chum in the face

A term used to describe a task, chore or event so excruciatingly unpleasant, it’s almost beyond endurance. In other words, you’d rather have a monkey sling his chum in your face than go through one more second of this agony.

"Hey Bob, how's that project coming?"
"Oh man, Steve, I'm telling ya, I'd rather have a monkey sling his chum in my face."

"So, how did the visit with the in-laws go?"
"Like four straight hours of monkey chum in the face."

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Four Finger Monkey Grip

the act of using the index and middle finger of each hand inserted into your partners asshole and to spread it apart so you can easily insert your dick after haucking a large lugie into it.

last night i had to use the four finger monkey grip on sara to get my chubby in because she was so tight.

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Fuck me like a monkey

1. A formal request for a celebration of love, super kinky-style.

2. An impassioned cry of frustration, used to substitute for the more common damn, shit, or fuck. Used in the most egregious situations only.

3. A solemn request, to a monkey, for sexual intercourse. This is illegal to say to a monkey.

Upon finding out that Eduardo was well-endowed, I flirted with him and asked him to please fuck me like a monkey.

Dude, I heard Sarah Palin and Donald Trump might run together, FUCK ME LIKE A MONKEY! Makes me want to nominate Paris Hilton instead.

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anal dwelling butt monkey

The poor, sad primate that has been tricked or forced into one's rectal cavity. It is very common for the monkey to reside in to sphincter for up to three weeks before voluntarily coming out.

Is that an arm coming out of you ass? HOLY SHIT!! IT'S AN ANAL DWELLING BUTT MONKEY!

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monkeys trying to fuck a football

When a group of incompetent rejects can't handle the simplist task

Salesmen: We don't know what happened boss, we thought we had that guy for sure.

Salesmanager: You retards couldn't close a front door.

Salesmen: Sorry boss, we will do better next time.

Salesmanager: No you won't you peices of shit, you guys are like monkeys trying to fuck a football

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