Random
Source Code
Random
A fart sommelier (pronounced /sʌməlˈjeɪ/, French pronunciation: sɔməlje), or fart steward, is a trained and knowledgeable fart professional, commonly working in fine restaurants, who specializes in all aspects of farts. This individual can smell and identify all aspects of a fart including beverage and food consumption, length of time "brewing", and identify certain digestional defects.
I am a fart sommelier. I smell a hint of sharp cheddar cheese with a taste of freshly squeezed orange juice, also a small sample of stomache cancer in your fart.
26👍 1👎
Lol I wrote that I had been doing clam farts for 17 years on my application and I got into YALE!
424👍 52👎
A labored, extra loud or long fart in an attempt to impress your friends or gross them out.
Jim rips a loud, nasty one.
Mike: "Dude, why you stunt farting?!"
Mike high fives Jim.
38👍 2👎
The type of annoying muffler found on many pos compact cars today. Often capable of setting off car alarms and deafening infants. Most pitiful sounding on cars with automatic transmission.
Can you hear it, its a rice rocket coming; you can hear the fart can on it half a mile away.
734👍 96👎
When someone accidentally farts and is embarrased, you should, if you have one ready, let one fly as well. This is a courtesy fart.
This is an opportune time for you to release since then the two fart smells will interfere and no one will discover how unbelievibly nasty your ass is.
Boris farted as he bent over to pick up his shuttlecock at the badminton tournament. Shung Fe felt so bad for him that he offered up a courtesy fart. Unfortunately Shung Fe's rice and eggnoodle fart could not completely mask the liverwurst and vodka fart from Boris, and everyone had to leave the court for 15 minutes.
13891👍 2062👎
That one, special, loud, extra potent burst of flatulence that you expunge within the first hour or so of waking up. This kind of fart is usallly quite loud, may have a 'wet' sound to it, and is found to be quite scary for those who may overhear it, or smell it.
It ain't morning till I've let that morning fart loose!
129👍 13👎