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Random
When you throw your kid in a lake to teach them how to swim and if they start sinking you throw them a non alcoholic beer for being a tosser
Lady: Does anyone have any recommendations for swimming lessons?
James: Just give your kid Irish swimming lessons, it's cheaper and they'll develop psychological disorders when they grow up.
Lady: ....Ok, anybody else have a better recommendation?
the dirty swim team is a sex act mostly performed by men, it involves the man defecating into swim goggles and then forcing the woman to wear them for 3-4 days the after the 4 days when her eye is completely diseased,the man fucks her eye until it falls out which the woman must then consume covered in the mans cum
Todd: Hey john what happened last night with Karen?
John: I started a dirty swim team on her a few days ago and finished it last night.
The female version of blue balls.
"Did you have a good time out clubbing, Sussi?"
"No! I had swimming storks all night, man!"
When you cum in the bath you are taking.
I went swimming with the kids this morning and man was it awesome.
A high school that is goated in D3 swim, scoring top of D3 for consecutive years.
"yo leme see the heat sheet"
"Oh crap we are going MKHS Swim?!?!"
When your indoor pets scratch their nasty asshole on your carpet.
Forearms pulling while backlegs off the ground so b-hole is smack on carpet. Looks like pet is swimming when actually is just scratching or wiping its ass.
Oh fuck. Rover just went liquid and now he's carpet swimming across the living room!
Code for organizing your friends to go into the other room to partake in illicit substances out of the watchful prying eyes of herbs. See “hanging a picture”.
I heard they’re showing synchronized swimming on tv. Have you seen how amazing it is? Let’s go where it’s quiet and watch it on tiktok with me.