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When a person has been placed in the back of a police cruiser, the police officer driving will slam on the breaks suddenly, causing the person handcuffed in the back seat to crash into the metal screen dividing the car. An act of police brutality.
Person 1: "What happened to your face?"
Person 2: "Those officers that picked me up last night gave me a screen test."
9👍 5👎
Before you ream a chicks ass you should always test the oil, to make sure her chocolate star fish is clear. This is done by going at it doggy style and in the process wopping a digit up the ass and pulling out to see if it is clean and safe to proceed. If all is good have fun, if not grab her hair and use it to clean your finger as if cleaning a dip stick on a car.
"Dude last night went to fuck this chick ass but lucky I remenbered to test the oil first or I would have been a mess, she was full to the max level"
9👍 5👎
A method of determining the sagginess of a boob: place a pen horizontally underneath the breast, let go of said knocker. Should pen fail to stay smashed up against the chest, then the bitch doesn't have saggy tits.
Your grandma has such saggy tits, she'd fail the pen test lying down.
OR
That slut may have failed the pen test, but she fuckin shoved a tennis racket up my ass, and it was great.
39👍 34👎
When a woman presses her breast (boobs) against a wall, her nose can not touch the wall before her boobs do, If her nose hits the wall first then she fails for not anything there.
To pass the woman has to have her boobs pushed against the wall before her nose does.
She starts the test by walking to the wall where the Nose Test is going to be done. She leans against the wall and firmly presses her breast to the wall. Once she does this if her nose is hitting the wall after she does this or if her nose isn't touching at all then she passes the test. But if her nose is touching before she presses them to the wall then she Fails.
For the Nose Test she touchs the wall with her boobs first and not her nose. She must be able to have some space between her nose and the wall. If her nose hits the wall first on the Nose Test then she is sent home.
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When a piece of technology is easy enough for your girlfriend to use without calling you.
Gf: baby, can you install office on my computer?
Nerd bf: Jesus, Microsoft can't make anything that passes the girlfriend test.
11👍 6👎
When fucking doggystyle, stick your thumb up the girls ass, if she takes it willingly then she has passed the thumb test so its safe to put your cock in next!!
I gave this girl the thumb test last night and she past with flying colours.... well, maybe only 1 colour!
11👍 6👎
testing a new friendship to see if scat is an option. while having intercourse with a person drop a fart and see how they react.
john used the brown test on michelle last night and then he shit on her face.
john: *Farts
michelle: mmm
john: can i poo on your face?
5👍 2👎