Random
Source Code
Random
An activity which is funny enough that the punishment for the activity is worth the comedic value. Typically a military term.
"We will have no lance corporal esque activities tonight"
A colloquial term used in corporate settings to describe an individual who takes excessive pleasure in establishing and enforcing overly strict rules for the office. For instance, requiring prior approval to participate in company-sanctioned recreation (e.g., ping pong). Related to: corporate cunt.
Corporate Kermit, during a conference call: Excuse me, Salt Lake office? Please put yourself on mute, I can't hear myself talk over your collective breathing. Thanks.
Corporate Tortograph Theory states that in the world of late-stage capitalism, the human impulse for creativity has been channeled so exclusively towards marketing that almost any absurd collection of words, names, or syllables is likely to coenside with a real-world entity, person, or organization of some sort, often in the corporate sphere.
“Jesse, I typed “Gortco” into Google and came up with a page for a random Norwegian company… just another proof for Corporate Tortograph Theory.”
Corporate communism, as defined by the Beatnik Bird, is when brain dead corporations own the means of communication, (the privatized Big Brother) and which are dedicated to promoting the anarchist idea that the best government is no government beyond the military and the police. Whatever government exists is a wholly owned subsidiary of the corporations kind of like Czarist Russia before the Marxist revolution in 1917 when everything was owned by royalty and its facilitator the church.
Corporate Communism is a blend of two of the most hated and abused terms in pop economics, corporatism, aka capitalism and communism, aka socialism. It was created by the Beatnik Bird as a descriptive term to grab the attention of those who have no factual knowledge of either but are convinced that either or both are evil.
Corporate communism is when brain dead corporations own the means of communication, and which are dedicated to promoting the anarchist idea that the best government is no government beyond the military and the police
Which brings me back to a point I made previously...
Hym "Corporate communism. The reason I hate capitalism. It allows corporations to enshrine themselves as mini communist dictatorships. And not like Marxist utopian communism but, like, North Korea communist dictatorship. Like... Once a month I have to go to a meeting (that essentially mirrors a church sermon) and affirm THEIR values (they say OUR but their is no US and WE don't have values and their values are antithetical to mine). At the end of year meeting they wanted me to THANK this nigga! Like, it was his last year as owner and he was passing the mantle off to HIS SON and the board of directors is just his kids and they wanted me to say 'THANKS DEAR LEADER!' So, I'm thanking him... For working FOR him... So his kids can become him and have dominion over a 3rd of my life, have entitled themselves to my attitude or my on-the-clock emotional state, compel my speech with 5 lines of NPC dialogue, and all of this under the threat of exile and privation if I fail to comply? And I have to wear a uniform (which started in communist China). They literally gaslight me with my schedule
I was supposed to have off Sunday but I show up Saturday and the schedule has been changed without my knowledge. And if I don't like it... I just have to move to a different communist dictatorship don't I? Except I CAN'T! Because the water pump on my car went out and I literally can't go further than a block away from my house without my car stalling! I went to Taco Bell last week and my car stalled on my way into my parking lot and I had to push it into a parking space. Can't afford to get it fix. Can't work more hours because they have labor quotas. They keep hiring people to supplant my hours but they keep firing them because they are worse. When my manager told me that they fired the last one I laughed in her fucking face because SHE KNOWS the job is shit and that noone wants to do it and no one is ever going to work as hard as they want you to (Because they want you to dedicate your life to the dear leader and one of their values is Humility defined as 'Doing all of the work and taking none of the credit'). But that's corporate communism for you."
A slick, savvy individual who possesses the cunning and prowess to navigate the cutthroat world of business. The deadliest tool in the boardroom arsenal.
"Hey, did you hear about Sam? He is like a mad dog off the leash."
"Yeah, I did. I heard he's a corporate weapon."
An individual with the work ethic of a warrior in battle. Increases stakeholder value and decreases downtime. Productivity skyrockets and fluctuates time to time. A corporate warrior is defined as a highly valuable asset to a company but highly underpaid in most cases due to many factors but some can make big bucks sticking to it long term or having specific qualifications to begin with.
Get up corporate weapon it’s time to increase stakeholder value