I have a boyfriend.

women who think everyone likes her and has a boyfriend

jake: pstt what the question for number 6
jess: i have a boyfriend dont talk to me
jake: I DONT CARE WHAT THE ANSWER
jess: i have a boyfriend
jake: BITCH I DONT CARE YOU LOOK LIKE IF TRUMP AND MORGZ HAD A BABY AND TRIED TO HAVE SEX WITH MORGZ MAKING YOU
jess: Oh My God Im telliNg my boyfriend
jake: yeah ok
*later*
jess: that him he told me i looked ugly
kim: domt worry sweet baby i got this
kim: hey you dumbass you be talking about my girl
jack: huh?
kim: she mine
jack: ok you can have her shortie

kim: STOP THAT IT WE WILL FIGHT TO GET HER
jack: *kicks*
kim: WAAAAA YOU DIDNT HAVE TO HIT SO HARD WAAAAA
jack: you wanted a fight
jess: hello new boyfr-
jack: *slaps* no
kim: can we go back together please
jess: I have a boyfriend.

33👍 7👎

have sex with me

A phrase I’m which people use when they want to have sex with someone and want to be outright and sexy.

Random guy on the street: Hello. How are you?

Random girl on the street: Come here. (Grab man’s collar) Let’s go back to my house.

AT HER HOUSE
Girl: HAVE SEX WITH ME!!!
Guy: OKAY! LET’S DO IT! I HAVE BEEN HORNY SINCE I MET YOU!

Then they have sex

119👍 34👎

I'll have a sandwich

When a conversation is going on around you that you don't quite understand or care about. Then someone asks for your fucking opinion.
BACKSTORY: An old lady is calling out 'nurse! nurse!' for fucking ages at a retirement home, which causes an old man to wake up and groggily say, "Huh what? Yeah i'll have a sandwich..." then fall back asleep.

University Lecturer: ...and that's why the principle states, in regards to microeconomics, that demand is infinate but resources are finite. What's your opinion on this Steve?
Steve: Yeah I'll have a sandwich *walks off*

14👍 2👎

shouldn't have said that

The split second after you've said something that you really shouldn't have said, specifically if it results in something bad.

Guy #1: You motherfucker!

Guy #2: What did you say?
Guy #1: Uh oh, shouldn't have said that.

30👍 6👎

you have fun with that

if you have a friend, and they do or have to go to something that you arent interested in.. you say "you have fun with that"

Matt: Damn, guess what.
Miles: Whats up?
Matt: I have to go to Chemistry Class for Summer School again.
Miles: you have fun with that matt.

50👍 13👎

have a heart of gold

to be kind, caring and free of malice

His boss turned out to have a heart of gold in the end.

24👍 5👎

have a jessie

An instruction to "take a look" or have a crafty peek!

also known as a jessie deek - peek

(Bill) I hear Christine has a fine pair on her

(Shane) I'll make sure to have a Jessie next time i see her

1👍 3👎