Bert-reading

Reading of a petition perform before signing it, to find out if you should support it or not, although the title is convincing. It's the final stage before signing a petition.

X: Did you just sign that petition ?
Y: Yes, why ?
X: You know better! Please do a bert-reading next time!!
Y: Why ?
X: Petitions can be very powerful and being attention to issues that we don’t know about... but I really need you to read some of these before signing. Some of them don’t be saying nothing and actually detract from grassroots organizations that are already doing the work.

Mastur-reading

Pleasuring one's self to a novel or any form of text that doesn't involve another person. (Not to be confused with sexting)

I spotted an old man mastur-reading in the far corner of the library.

To read the Bible

To masterly beat the nob

Achmed: ay where you going
Jerome: To read the bible. Ill be right back

i am not reading this

You don’t want to read it

This is to long I am not reading this

Virginia reading

The verbiage used when someone from Virginia residues in a different state and a person needs to be told the hard, cold truth due to ugly behavior.

"I'm fixin to cuss you Virginia reading style if you don't get outta my face"

The standing reading

When you spend a week on Mongolian, marching powder, and the door is locked on, the shitter perch, her self against a post and release all that backed up semi solid waste

Oh, that poor bastard hasta shit so bad and the doors locked. He’s gonna have to do “the standing reading”

let me read my book

This person is a NERD they also have big eyes and like walking in circles after they have used the restroom if you see one take a picture

Look it’s a person who wants to read their book (LMRMB) #ultrarare #takeapic let me read my book