I can't stop you from trying ... Once

A good answer to a violent threat, if you can back it up!

I see you fingering a weapon in your jacket, so go on ... I can't stop you from trying ... Once.

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Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.

A "hip" expression of the 1960's-70's that advises you not to do something risky unless you are willing and able to accept the full weight of the consequences.

Ironically popularized by the theme song to the TV show "Baretta" starring Robert Blake.

Fred: "I'm losing my license for drunk driving..."

Charlie: "Quit complaining! You know what they tell you: 'don't do the crime if you can't do the time!'"

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help, i've fallen, and i can't get up

a catchphrase from some old 80's tv commercial for LifeAlert, a device geared toward the elderly that supposedly was supposed to save them if they became stranded. usually an old woman says it

old hag -"Help, I've fallen, and I can't get up!"

mustachioed dispatcher- "We're sending help right away!"

tv shows ambulance racing down street

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Once you go blue, you can't undo.

The phenomenon in which a normal conversation turns blue, becoming so riddled with sexual innuendo that it's rendered nearly impossible to steer back in a non-pervy direction. Every innocent comment starts to become a dirty double entendre, until eventually the entire conversation turns into a complete smut-fest from which there is no return.

Girl: Ah, who doesn't love stripper zombies in Portland? That'd go down like Jesus on a velociraptor.

Guy: I have to admit, when I first read 'go down'... I had rather blasphemous thoughts.

~ten minutes later, during which this term is invented~

Girl: Hmm, this Urban Dictionary thing is quite fun. Something for the annals of history.

Guy: Two n's - one 'n' is bad.

Girl: Yeah, I always thought that 'annals' was an odd word.
It really could so very easily be another.

Guy: Terribly easily. So, how is the entry? ...Oh, Jesus!!!!

Girl: Once you go blue, you can't undo.

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you can't have your cake and eat it too

This phrase is easier to understand if it is read as "You can't eat your cake, and have it too". Obviously once you've eaten your cake, you won't have it any more. Used for expressing the impossibility of having something both ways, if those two ways conflict.

He works so hard to pay for that fancy house of his that he never has any time to stay home and enjoy it.

Yeah, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

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ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this.

A statement of frustration said when one is about to say something and is interrupted abruptly; usually with a punch to the face.

Note: It has to be said in a non-enthusiastic, brittish, calm and polite manner, if you will.

Example:

Some guy: "Hello everyone, i'm here today to talk about... *PUNCHED IN THE FACE*

Same guy: "Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this."

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I Have Fallen And I Can't Get Up

The stage of you falling hard to the ground and no matter how hard you try, you cannot get back up.

I Have Fallen And I Can't Get Up!!
That means that you're old.