own her wetness

When a man is trying to impress strangers on the internet because his wife doesn’t give him the validation he desperately seeks, he often resorts to telling women (especially on twitter) that he owns their wetness (plural) or owns her wetness (singular).

Owning her wetness is actually impossible. Nobody can own her wetness. Her wetness is not ownable. Only sad, lonely, married men ever unironically say that they own anyone’s wetness.

This condition dates back to 2018 and there is currently no known cure. Research into the early warning signs of saying dumb things like, “I own her wetness,” is ongoing.

Owning (her) wetness on the internet saved my marriage.

A gentleman always holds the door to let a lady go first THEN offers to own her wetness.

Own her wetness by blocking her then stalk all her tweets from your alt.

Woman on twitter:

Man on twitter: I own your wetness

Woman on twitter: ew, fuck off, dumbass

One small step for man, one giant leap for owning her wetness.

Indiana Jones and the Quest for Her Wetness.

Star Wars Episode V: Her Wetness Strikes Back.

Him: I want to own your wetness.

His wife: You do, honey.

Him: Not you.

21👍 5👎

Dick'n her down

When a guy really does it right and gets it there like he means it. When a good dick'n her down has taken place the pussy has been pounded and beat up .

After he got done dick'n her down she went to make him a sandwich.
After dick'n her down she had no choice but to say yes.

33👍 9👎

Nick her in the passing

To have a casual sexual encounter. Analogous to "Give her a portion" and "she'd do a turn"

Gary: "Dave, I think you have a thing for Gail"

Dave: "Nah, not really, I might nick her in the passing"

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slap her the mushroom

to hit a girl in the head with one's circumsised penis so hard as to leave a mark. See also mushroom tattoo.

"Next time, just slap her the mushroom."

59👍 20👎

slip her the sausage

bang her, give her the dick. If you're Italian, you can say "the italian sausage", if you're Polish you can say "the polish sausage" or "the ol' kielbasa", if you're German you can say "the ol' bratwurst".

The first time I saw her, she gave me that old-fashioned romantic feeling, where I'd do anything to slip her the sausage, preferably indabutt.

55👍 18👎

going down on her

The quickest way to get a girl to forget her ex and be all about you. Especially if you bring her to orgasm.

447👍 194👎

Diddling her bug

The act of female mastrubation.

I cam home late last night and caught my girlfriend diddling her bug.

26👍 7👎