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The theory that if a bagel is cut horizontally, each half can be considered one bagel, allowing an infinite number of bagels to be formed from one bagel. This is to say, as long as a section of an object is identified as a whole, the entirety of its children on the same plane can also be considered whole, creating a paradox where an original object can be responsible for the creation of an infinite number of itself.
Craig: "I bought this bagel from a New York bakery and they consider half a bagel a whole bagel?"
Graham: "Yeah it supports the Infinite Bagel Theory. As long as the horizontal slice is considered whole, an endless number of bagels can be formed."
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In Call of Duty: World at War, it is the act of throwing two (2) satchel charges next to each other, and also throwing a N° 74 ST (Anti-tank) grenade. The N° 74 ST will set off the satchel charges, thus having the ability to blow up a tank in one big shot if done correctly
P1: "Can someone help me, there's a tank right on me?!"
P2: "It's all right, I'm going to give it the German Bagel."
P1: "Thank god!"
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(n) an anus filled with blood semen and shit
last night i had such a loaded bagel
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Unsuccessful and unrelenting attempts to gain friendship and influence in exchange for tangible and socially desirable accomodations (meals, physical stimulation, stroking, and sexual oriented favors).
1. I know this guy you can call for free tickets. If he doesn't know your really just giving him a Fred bagel, he'll throw in a nice dinner - just pick a restaurant that is really loud so you don't have to hear him talk.
2. I just heard about this Fred bagel from a friend of mine. If you need a place to stay, he'll put you up for as long as you want. My buddy stayed there, and said the "room service" was the best. Afterwards, the Fred bagel continued to call him for weeks on end. Eventually the Fred bagel stopped calling and bad mouthed my buddy to other guys. My buddy then called the Fred bagel again and ended up getting a free round of golf. Nice!
3. (verb form): Dude, I just threw him a Fred bagel. I had him buy me lunch, he blew me, then I told him to piss-off. Now he thinks we're friends.
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The best food in the entire world. Could be a problem for the police though...
Police: Step out of the vehicle please!
Person: I haven't taken drugs! I swear! I've been eating poppy seed bagels!
Police: ... Ok! Have a wonderful night!
Person: Ok! Thanks!
*Later That Night*
Person: *Actually doing drugs*
A word to describe how good your day is, equivalent to eating a bagel.
OMG I bought a new bag!! Today is a bagel-kind-of-day!! woohoo
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The act of eating someone's bagels only if they are sexy bagels and you have consent.