Random
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Random
When you're dating a smoking hot 22-yr old Mexican girl, then marry her, and she wakes up the morning of her 24th birthday having suddenly gained 100 lbs and looks exactly like her mother.
Surprise!!!
Be careful man, you don't want to wake up one day to the Mexican Surprise.
15👍 8👎
When a girl that you like isn't paying attention, so you want to pleasure her by sweeping her off your feet so you whip it out and SURPRISE! you stick it in and whip it out before she even has time to react!
Graham: Hey bro, did you surprise fuck Paige yet?
Reese: Not yet man, I'm working on it here.
Graham: Awww come on man, you are such a PUSSY. Just do it, thats how i was made
14👍 8👎
When your fucking a girl from behind real hard and your dick accidently slips out of her pussy and tears into her ass.
She yelped like a chihuahua when I gave her a Grainy Surprise.
11👍 5👎
When you don't know the chick you're fucking is a virgin, and you break her hymen, causing her to bleed everywhere and then use her blood as lube.
Did you see that awesome hymen surprise last night
4👍 1👎
When a man douses his penis with Tabasco sauce secretly and then immediately proceeds to insert his penis into a girl's vagina balls deep.
John: I gave Shirley a Spicy Surprise last night and she squealed like a stuck pig!
Jack: Shit son! Oh no you didn't!
4👍 1👎
A person who at first seems very nice, but at a later time reveals that they are in fact a total dick.
Me: Mr. Johnson, will you please accept this paper? I only couldn't turn it in because my mom was in the hospital dying of cancer. You seem like a reasonable enough guy.
Mr. Johnson: SURPRISE! I'M A DICK!!!!
Me: Damn what a surprise dick
4👍 1👎
When a girl appears to be fit, or thin with a shirt on, but once naked, is surprisingly fat.
Zak-"i saw rachael at the pool today"
Alex-"nice"
Zak-"not really, she's surprise fat."
4👍 1👎