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To unknowingly have sex with a man who passes for a woman
Dave: I got so drunk last night I slept with an ugly prostitute!
Ron: That was a man dude, you got Eddie Murphied
Brett Murphy is another word for someone who goes on corn hub all day
Yo man, stop being a Brett Murphy.
Diarrhea at the absolute worst time possible.
"I'm on a first date, hottest girl I've ever gone out with, we go back to her place to fuck, and just as I'm about to cum I get the Murphy squirts. Painted a path from her bed all the way to the toilet. I guess she didn't see the humor in it, cuz she didn't want a second date..."
"You can patronize the slots till Doomsday or buy any number of scratch-off tickets and never gain any significant winnings, but then just as soon as you stop playing, the very next player will win big."
Many an addicted gamer believes in Murphy's Law of Gambling, even though it is indeed :"all chance" and thus seldom actually works out that way.
has tangly hair and needs a new shirt
michael murphy needs to go shopping.
"If you 'prepare for the worst' by bringing along extra jackets/gloves, an umbrella, etc., then the skies will be sunny and mild all the time you're 'out 'n' about'. But if you decide to leave all that stuff behind at home and set out on your trip in just your ordinary street-clothes, there'll be a bleepin' MONSOON or HURRICANE!
The morning started out kinda overcast and nippy, so I brought an umbrella, thick hoodie-jacket, and gloves with me when I set out to run some errands around town. Well, naturally, once I got a fair distance from home and thus I didn't wanna traipse all the way back to put everything away again, the sun came out and the day got really warm, and so I was just feverishly lugging all that extra stuff around with me for nothing... classic case of "Murphy's Law of Foul-Weather Gear", I guess.
A term for when you draw a card during Cards Against Humanity that would've been perfect to use in the current round. Also applies to any other card games where you draw a card before the events of a round play out.
Card Tzar: "I hate when my neighbour leaves ______ in my yard."
-All players hand in their card-
Player: "Damn, Murphy's Draw. I just drew 'landmines'.