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What you should say whenever something goes bad.
Good thing George W. Bush is taking my idea and blaming Canada.
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Is when you put a miniature #99 Wayne Gretzky jersey on your cock, then pull your foreskin over another dude's circumsized penis which has a miniature #66 Mario Lemieux jersey on and dock with him; while being watched by a Sasquatch, Brian Mulroney, and the Blue Nose.
"Hey remember on July 1st when those two guys showed us Canada's History."
"Those two dudes aren't gay they just like Canada's History."
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A boring little suburban town near Saint Paul, MN who's cool sister town is Roseville. There ain't shit to do here and it's extremely boring. It's own city government is too stupid to even afford it's own police department even with the high amount of crimes that occur in this pathetic, miserable little town. It's also home to the worst baseball, football and basketball middle school teams in Roseville Area, the "Roseville Raiders".
Little Canada? Hell, I'm moving to Roseville!
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Aubrey Graham better known as Drake
"You(Drake) ain't wettin nobody, you Canada Dry"
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A sex act of the most depraved type, usually between two men, and involving maple syrup, a hockey stick, the Stanly Cup, a Canadian flag, and several polar bears. This act is often performed on ice.
The syrup is poured into the Stanly Cup and placed on ice where it is allowed to cool for about an hour. Both men take turns spanking each other with the hockey stick, while the syrup hardens into a gel. Then, the first man penetrates the semi-hardened syrup with his penis, while he wraps the second man's head with the Canadian flag. Then, the ends of the hockey stick are inserted into the anuses of both men. Each man pleasures himself, generally in a race to be the first to ejaculate.
The polar bears just watch.
My apologies to the proud nation of Canada.
Me: "I gave Stephen Colbert the Canada's History last night".
My friend: "Did you get the flag or the cup?"
Me: "The cup".
My friend: "How many polar bears did you have?"
Me: "Two".
My friend: "I am doubtful of your truethiness".
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A sexual act so depraved Canadians are forbidden from speaking of it in public. Also known as "Going Balls-Diefenbaker."
With a turkey baster, inject as much maple syrup as possible into the vagina or anus. Once full, grab a lacrosse stick and insert in a slow twisting motion until it can go no further. Do a couple of turns, and then remove. What you now have is called the "Kodiak Boner", which you have to lick clean before moving on. Next, take the antlers of a young moose (freshly killed is best; you Albertans know what I'm talking about) and insert the longest point into your anus while letting the horn wrap around & cradle your nutsack. If you're female, it's one in the pink, one in the stink. Ideally this is accomplished without breaking the horn. Then while standing over the Stanley cup, one partner blows the other and spits the jizz into the cup until full. (This can take days.) Once filled to the brim, the fellated partner must drink Lord Stanley's Cum (purists will say it must be done in one attempt), kiss his partner, and snowball as much as possible back into his or her mouth. If his partner vomits from the experience, then the antlers may be removed and the act is complete; if not, the partners must post each other's nude, antler-impaled, come-covered photo as their Facebook profile picture and tag themselves in it.
Extra cred is applied if Canada's History is performed in a, or with a girl named, Mercedes. ÜBER cred if both apply.
My girlfriend and I took a week off work to perform Canada's History and now I'm pretty sure I have a ruptured colon.
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What one yells out when the Canadian olympic hockey team beats the United States in overtime
"Yes, Canada won!" said Jim. "FUCK CANADA" yelled the rest of the world.
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