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What we call the Dallas Cowboys, but we don't exactly know why.
I gotta get home from church so I can watch America's Team lose again.
54👍 76👎
the sooner you pull your head out of your ass the happier you'll be. i guaruntee it.
grab your head, pull it out of your ass. it's easy.
273👍 444👎
Is the best history on the planet. In less than 300 years from becoming it's own country America has done so much stuff that it makes country like England want to commit suicide. This History contains winning wars over and over again. Inventing the most useful inventions known to man. Becoming a world super power and more.
Also one man who will go down in American History as we know it will be Stephen Colbert. And to protect his legacy we must make sure that those evil Canadians don't make lies about this word. So make sure that we fill this definition with as much positive American stuff as we can!!
In preparation for a counter attack from Canadians I have told about the TRUE definition for America's History.
31👍 41👎
"Jesus Land"... the vast desolate wasteland comprised of Wal-Marts, Republicans, RedNecks, and (I can't believe it either...) PRO-BUSH human beings. How can someone who follows such a great religion as christianity can possibly have any form of respect for a man who exploits that same religion to gain votes and popularity in polls? I don't know, how about we ask middle America. Wait a tick, we can't because they would start calling us "terrorists" or "un-patriotic", because we have the brains to question what our monkeys of "leaders" have to say.
New yorker-"I can't believe George Bush can promote Christianity, the religion that believes in such great moral values as "turning the other cheek", then lie to millions of people by saying that the economy is 'gaining' when unemployment is down .2%!"
Midwesterner- "HOW DARE YOU INSULT SUCH A GREAT LEADER!!!"
Besides cities like Denver, Chicago, and Atlanta, middle america is perhaps the most depressing place on the face of the earth.
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the most gayest, homo-est team in the history of homo kind
person #1: i go for america
person #2: no, dude, don't! Chivas has won 11 championships, and Club America has only won 10!
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tween boy #1: OMG! I go for, like, Club America, like, yeah!
tween boy 2: figures.
103👍 163👎
This is when you are receiving a blowjob from a woman and when she pulls back, you then proceed to grab her by the hair and thrust her face into your nutsack, humming the Captain America theme. And when she pulls back with an angry look in her eyes, you put your hands over your eyes in a mask style, and scream "JUSTICE!"
Man 1: Hey, isn't your girlfriend mad at you, bro?
Man 2: "Yeah, she's mad because last night she pulled back and I Captain America'd that ass."
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when something distinctly american happens
Mark: watch out for the guns
Toby: ope, america moment
5👍 4👎