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A position one assumes while having sex (in any position) with a Mormon Missionary.
The young men got his bicycle and assumed a Mormon Missionary Position. He left the house with man gravy all over his chin.
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Special Holy sanitary pads used by Mormon women to protect their Mormon Underwear from "the curse". These are sometimes also used by Mormon men to avoid being embarrassed by Mormon Crotch.
1. Naomi didn't want the class to know she would be unclean for a week, so she used Mormon Panty Liners to hide the shameful stain.
2. Upon seeing his 13-year-old bride, Jeremiah immediately developed Mormon Crotch. Fortunately he had planned ahead, and taped a Mormon Panty Liner over his throbbing member prior to the wedding.
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Polygamous marriage. Made famous by guest character Judge Constance Harm on "The Simpsons."
While most people enjoy Texas Hold 'Em, Mormons enjoy Mormon Hold 'Em.
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The almost absolute equivalent to being “A fucking pleb”
Look over there it’s some Mormon corn syrup.
Secretly jerking someone off in public. Keeping it low key cause being high is for sinners.
The church service was so boring that I gave elder Simon a Mormon high five under a bible to keep things interesting.
When you are a Mormon, and you aren't married by the age of 25, your standards tend to become more lax. This phenomenon is not unlike that of a bar at closing time. LDS men and women who would not otherwise have any particular mutual attraction or interest wind up together because, within this community, if you are not married by the time you are 30, you will be a spinster / bachelor for life. To an outsider, this arrangement may seem like a cruel fate, but it bears reminding that in the Mormon religion, the sealing is an important step to gaining eternal life. In Matthew 16:19, Jesus said “And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven”
A mormon couple's non-mormon friends are talking about them across the room.
Non-mormon man: "What's the deal with those two? They don't seem to fit as a couple."
Non-mormon woman: "Dude, they met at Mormon Last Call."
When you are having Mormon butt sex with a Mormon girl before marriage so she can retain her vaginial virginity, and you pull out too soon. Immediately wiping the excess fecal matter across a picture of Landon Malasky.
I brought my Mormon girlfriend home and we did a Mormon chili dog. Guess I'm gonna need a new framed pictur of Landon.
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