lawn officer

(n.) -- the person who is in charge of keeping the lawn outside your home looking good and well-kept all year long

"At my house, I'm the lawn officer. I don't get paid, but my wife gives me a big hug and a kiss every time I mow the lawn and rake the leaves."

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Oval Office

All United States president’s coming together to sit on my face for one glorious afternoon

Come here Joe! Come complete the Oval Office!

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Snorting Office

The location where cocaine is made. In other words, a crack house/meth lab. Usually inhabited by rough looking men in lab coats and mouth covers, using razors to cut up cocaine, then weighing it and putting it into bags. Also in the Snorting Office there are guns of many calibre's and a dodgy looking chap who puts the bags of weighed coke in his pocket or shoe or wallet and then goes out and sells the drugs.

Dave: Did you get the stuff???

Greg: Hells yeah, its real fresh too.

Dave: How fresh??

Greg: Literally fresh out the Snorting Office.

Dave: Sweet.

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Office Assaulter

This is the name given to the person in your office, who no one really likes, that always finds a way to cop an unwanted feel.

While I was working quietly at my desk Kevin came up behind me and started to rub my back, I was so disgusted. He is such an Office Assaulter!

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I'm in the Office

If you know this phrase then your probably on the phone with Luigi right now. He seems to use this to deflect the awkward of notion of looking down and seeing his unfortunately small sized man junk. He thinks this this phrase is whimsical and funny. However as fasicious as it may be it is unsanitary to talk on the phone while defacating, and rude to talk to anyone while in the act of pushing feces out of your ass.

Cole: *answers* Hey
Luigi: Hey what's up?
Cole: Just got home, you?
Luigi: I'm in the Office
Cole: Why the fuck do you always call me when your taking a shit.
Luigi: *thinks to self* "i have small man junk"

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Officer Down

the evolution of "shots fired" and its iterative extension "shots received." Instead of wasting time reflecting on the past, recipients of an insult now just report the crisis in real time.

"hanging out with you made me behave shamefully" "ouch. officer down"

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police officer

stupid fucking pig that chooses to work for a corrupt racist system that biases white hetero cis men💕

maia: #allcopsarebastards
ellie: periodt queen police officers r bitches

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