Carpet swimming

When your indoor pets scratch their nasty asshole on your carpet.

Forearms pulling while backlegs off the ground so b-hole is smack on carpet. Looks like pet is swimming when actually is just scratching or wiping its ass.

Oh fuck. Rover just went liquid and now he's carpet swimming across the living room!

Synchronized Swimming

Code for organizing your friends to go into the other room to partake in illicit substances out of the watchful prying eyes of herbs. See “hanging a picture”.

I heard they’re showing synchronized swimming on tv. Have you seen how amazing it is? Let’s go where it’s quiet and watch it on tiktok with me.

ducks swimming

Only the BEST swim team out there. They're like a family.

Yo man did you meet the girls from ducks swimming?

Yeah, they were the best! I wish I was cool enough to join.

a swimming pool band-aid

Something that is disgusting and should never be touched.

Hans: I was with Anna last night and things were really great and then it was all over! She acted grossed out and left!
Albert: What happened? I thought last night was going to be the party night?
Hans: Me too. I showed Heather's Vaseline to her and she looked at it like it was a swimming pool band-aid.
Albert: Well, you showed Heather's Vaseline. Anna thinks Vaseline is gross.

Baby Heather: (lisping) It was me swimming pool band-aid!! 😊👉👈
Hans: Heather, we don't mean your literal bandage in the pool.
Baby Heather: Hmm.

Swimming with the shrimps

A gang bang involving man poorly endowed men

P1: I’ve got a real small dick man, hard to get chicks
P2: Oh, me too bro. Come swimming with the shrimps sometime with me.

Boy's Can Swim Soiree

The party thrown by buddies for a great guy after he announces he will be a father. The party typically includes, fine meat, such as aged ribs, pork shoulder and artisanal cheese fixed in a Valhalla fashion in a get away weekend of fun and based around the lollygagging and tom foolery that dudes enjoy with pulling over another.

Corey texted his friends that he was going to be a father. His friend Deed replied, how about we take you upstate for a Boy's Can Swim Soiree?

START ROWING OR START SWIMMING

Your either with us, or you are on your own.

Person A: "Brenda really doesn't like the new rules"

Person B "Then she needs to start rowing or start swimming"