couch test

A sexual variation on an actor's screen test. This refers to the practice of directors/producers requiring actresses who wish to be in their films to have sex with them, usually on the office couch.

Director (to Producer): I'm not sure she has the chops to get cast in the film, but she sure looks like a candidate for a couch test.

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Breast Test

a term referring to a highly scientific technique used on androgenous people (those who you are unable to positively identify as male or female) in which you stare at the subject's chest to reach your conclusion on the person's actual gender; there is only one flaw in this technique: many androgenous people can be husky which makes it difficult to discern whether or not the subject has real boobs or man boobs.

"Dude, is that a man or woman? I tried to use the Breast Test, but they could be man boobs."

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bagel test

a test about how relaible you are.

some companies have a bagel test before deciding to hire people.

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Besties with Testes

The term used when a female has a male best friend or friends.

T: I love M, he is one of my Besties!

N: He is totally one of your Besties with Testes.

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acid test

A technique wherein a person subjects a potential friend to a series of mean or horrific tests to see if the person is actually cool.

pass:
Potential Friend: Hi man, what's up?
Cool Guy: Go fuck yourself.
Potential Friend: Fuck you too, buddy. Wanna go grab a burger?
Cool Guy: Congrats, you passed the acid test.

fail:
Potential Friend: Hi man, what's up?
Cool Guy: Go fuck youself.
Potential Friend: *cry*

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emissions test

the process of sticking your bare ass in front of one's face, then blowing hard ass into their mouth; if they throw up immediately then it was an excellent fart, if they don't then they get to pinch a loaf into your mouth

my friend challenged me to an emissions test in which he lost, so i got to drop a foot long deuce into his mouth

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spoon test

The Spoon Test is a way to check if a person is asleep. If you are unsure if they are asleep or just faking, you "spoon" them by lying next to them in their bed, wrapping your arms around them, placing their buttocks into your groin-ial region. If they writhe away, they are likely awake. If they do nothing, they are likely asleep, or they are into it. The Spoon Test is a very inaccurate test.

Did you Spoon Test Jerry? I Swear he's faking.

Well, I'm not sure, but the pleasurable sigh he made was very real.

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