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The greatest Segment Slayer to have ever lived is Patrick Devitt, crown-bearer of the legendary "Josh Duncan's 'Got Any Change for this Kwarter' segment, among thousands of others in at least 3 US states. When Patrick is not slaying segments, he is busy instigating mental anguish and feelings of inferiority in his Strava rivals. Additionally, one time in college he started dictating a story in his sleep, which was later adapted by his roommate Orson Welles into the screenplay for "Citizen Kane," widely considered the greatest film of all time. No one knows how old Patrick is. Despite the fact that he has never appeared on the show, in 2019 Ken Jennings conceded that Patrick was the best Jeopardy contestant in the show's then-36-year history. Kanye West has also privately claimed that it was in fact Patrick, and not Beyonce, who had the best video of all time. While these and his many other achievements are beyond debate, in 2020 and 2021 Devitt was widely criticized for his condescension toward users posting their walking miles on Strava, as well as for a general lack of wokeness, which spurred the #walkforpatrick and #cancelpatrick movements in northern Illinois.
Today was a rest day, but I took the kids to the park and posted it on Strava so Patrick Devitt would see it and disapprove. #walkforpatrick
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Best point guard in NBA History, cemented his GOAT status with a play-in tournament win over the Los Angeles Clippers
Is that Patrick Beverly? Did you know he is the greatest player to ever touch a basketball?
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A freaking sexy mofo who wants to kill me. He can be hilarious sometimes. Amazing singer & actor, but bad at giving speeches on global warming.
Woah, that guy is trying to shoot me! He must be Patrick John!
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The greatest actor of all time. Famous for his role in Star Trek: The Next Generation
"Number one, set phasers to sexy!"
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Cmon how could you NOT know Patrick Star?
He's seriously spongebob's best friend dumbass
He pink
He's a star
He's lazy
He live under a rock
That's all you have to know about him.
Who lives in a pine-rock under the sea
Spo-Patrick Star!
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One who maintains the status of a sexbomb
See that kid? He's very Patrick Beals today.
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wasted, to put it simply.
getting drunk
getting "schwayzee"
It's Saturday night, i'm about ready to get patrick schwayzed.
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