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Any parent (most commonly female) who seeks to impose their ethical and moral standards upon the rest of the world, justifying the suppression of all other views by claiming it is for the protection of their children. Soccer moms believe that they are all great parents, despite their inability or unwillingness to take responsibility for their children.
Soccer moms are responsible for almost every act of censorship, and almost every frivolous safety "feature" or warning label seen on products today. Movies and games that contain strong language, graphic violence, strong language, or references to the occult are banned on behalf of soccer moms, because they cannot be bothered to pay attention to what their children are watching or playing. They are the reason that the rear windows of certain vehicles, the Ford Taurus for example, can only be rolled down approximately 12 inches (or .3 meters), and there is no option to allow you to disable this "safety feature." They are the reason that bags of peanuts say "Warning: May contain nuts." That's intelligent.
Soccer moms are also a major contributing factor to the gas price hike that America has experienced in recent years. They attempt to stand out and look "rugged" by driving SUVs. They do not realize that an SUV is not an economy car. It is large, it is ponderous, and it takes a good deal of distance to come to a stop. It is designed to be abused like no other vehicle, by towing trailers, hauling heavy cargo, and driving off road. Instead, they have been converted to child haulers and grocery getters. They consume twice as much gas as a station wagon, which would perform the same tasks admirably. Soccer moms dismiss the fuel consumption with the excuse "If I can afford the gas, why should you care?" This demonstrates their absolute lack of economic knowledge, as it shows that they are completely ignorant of one of the most basic economic concepts: supply and demand. They use more gasoline, but the same amount is refined. The result is higher gas prices for all.
So, to summarize, they cause high gas prices, needless censorship, inconvenient "safety features," numerous traffic accidents, and an entire generation of their spawn ("rebellious" youth who are angst ridden and void of any and all responsibility and morality).
I hope this shows, conclusively, that soccer moms are the scourge of this land, and the movement must be eliminated at all costs.
Get on the highway and look around. 1 out of every 3 people you see is one of these wretched "Soccer Moms"
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A women in your life that represents the same characteristics as your real mother. Usually your best friends mom or an adult that you spend almost as much time with as your real mother and trust the same way. This person usually regards you the same way and accepts you as their second son/daughter. In some cases you visit this person so often there is usually an extra spot of your own at the dinner table.
Eric: "Hey bro, mind if I bring my new girlfriend over for dinner tonight?"
Ryan: "Sure dude, what for?"
Eric: "I was hoping my second mom could meet her and give me her blessings."
Ryan: "Right on, we will sit her next to you at the diner table."
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A "silky" mom is defined as a "modern mother" who is into using advances in science, medicine, and technology to aid her in her parenting.
Modern mother who prefers medicated hospital birth, bottle feeding/part time breastfeeding, disposable diapers, crib sleeping, etc. One who follows the advice of established medical authority; often tend to be working moms who rely on modern products for convenience and time management.
She uses Pampers, Formula, and Vaccinates her child, she's a silky mom.
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A woman infatuated and entirely obsessed with the "dark meat."
A dirty, dirty slut.
Anything can be made into a joke about John's mom.
Person1: I like hot dogs.
Person2: In John's mom!
Person1: This sucks!
Person2: Like John's mom.
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The most frustrating person you'll ever meet. She can be lit sometimes but 5 seconds later she'll be screaming at you from some dumb shit. You may even be chilling on the couch and she'll degrade your existence. She can't keep her mouth shut for a minute and just says whatever the fuck she wants. You're dad won't do shit because he doesn't want taste her wrath for good reason.
You: (just on your phone in your room)
Step mom (little devil) : (BANGS DOOR LIKE SHE WANTS TO KILL IT OR SOMETHING)
You: What the fuck
Stepmom: OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO LAZY! YOU DON'T DO SHIT! I AM HOLDING UP THIS HOUSE AND YOU'RE ON YOUR LIL PHONE TEXTING ALL YOUR FRIENDS! HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO LIVE BY YOURSELF?! GOD YOU ARE SOOOOO USELESS I DON'T KNOW HOW YOUR DAD DEALS WITH YOUR ASS!
You: What the fuck
Step mom: (Slams door and continues to scream how "useless" you are)
You: What the fuck
You: Do you hear this shit dad
Dad: Same thing happened to me 5 minutes ago
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A female parent that doesn't pay child support. See: deadbeat dad.
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Bitches who (like Jack Thompson) hate violent video games/ movies and try to censor anything and everything that is evil and/or satanic. She usally drives a huge-ass Minivan and/or SUV. She doesn't buy her kids T rated games, let alone M and AO rated games. To her, up to PG is the only movie rating her kids can watch. She also has an utter hatred for anime. Her kids are usually on the honor roll and participates in many after-school activities as possible (usually soccer). Some other activities her little fuckers might be in is Football, Basketball, Baseball, Band, etc. She sometimes volunteers at their kid's school and goes on school trips with them. Their home computer is installed with NetNanny or some other shit program that blocks "non-approprite material/content". The TV is installed with the V-Chip and has every TV rating show blocked except for TV-Y.
Soccer Moms suck and should die.
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