magic turtle

The last section of a bowel movement that refuses to pass, instead coming to rest just inside the anus.

While not uncomfortable, the wiping process is greatly impacted. Unknown to the sitter their ass is clean, however, each wipe creates creates a slight relaxing of the sphincter which leads to light contact between paper and turd, making it appear that there is some mysterious and unexplainable trickery going on.

Jill: Who blocked the toilet with all this paper?
Ben: Sorry, I had a magic turtle.

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The Awkward Turtle

A sex position in which the woman cocoons herself in a blanket with only her backside sticking out. The man's penis then enters her from behind. A good position while banging an ugly chick.

Paul found Mary very unattractive, but he was horny, so they just did the awkward turtle.

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Turtle Waxing

To feel a girls chest, outside of the shirt, replicating the motion of hand washing or waxing a car.

I saw my friend and his girl at the movies last night, and he was totally turtle waxing.

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turtle curtle

1.) dropping a deuce on somebody's back and forcing that person to crawl around on all fours like a turtle

" i was boinking Greasy Pablo last night and as i finished up i made her do the turtle curtle"

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Poll Turtle

An oddity, a rarity, something that should not happen, unexplained and unfortunate events, but essentially just a turtle sitting on a poll. Similar to Barack Obama.

One day a farmer was walking his fence. He came upon a poll turtle sitting atop one of one the fence polls. The farmer was puzzled. How did this turtle get atop of this fence? So the farmer walked up to the turtle and said "what are you doing here and who the fuck put you here?"

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turtle spinach

when you take a dump and the crap is very green and looks earthy and murky

i took a dump and it looked like turtle spinach

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turtle shells

Psilocybe tyrannus, or commonly referred to as turtle shells, is a fairly new discovered psychadelic drug that dramatically increases a person's uptake of dopamine when consumed. Not only that, but it also contains high amounts of dopamine. The drug is actually a rare fungus that has nothing to do with a turtle. The fungus comes from several island countries such as Madagascar and the phillipines, and needs to be grown in intense sunglight. Even after it is full grown, the dealer must heat the fungus at high temperatures to make it produce pyschadelic effects. The result of this makes it almost leathery, and people say it looks like a turtle shell hence the name. Other street names include the tyrant, sithlord, dooku, and darth turtle. The trips of this drug have been compared to that of acid and ectasy but even stronger. Although there is no physical addiction to this drug, long term effects can be devastating to one's brain cell count and create a future of mental illness.

Yo TJ wanna pick up an ounce of turtle shells and play with my easy bake oven?

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