Paper TV

Airy, easy-reading printed material such as Time and Wired magazine, etc., ostensibly written to inform and educate but in actuality designed to inculcate rapacious consumer desire (buy an H2; you need a new laptop, etc.) and reinforce prevailing socio-governmental and economic beliefs (diversity is our strength, housing is a “smart” investment, etc.).

Close scrutiny reveals that Paper Television’s content is little more than ill-conceived “bait” thrown out in hopes of courting the eyeballs that advertisers want desperately and will pay handsome sums of money to target. Making money is Paper TV’s primary goal. Secondarily it aims to advance liberal, egalitarian, and hypercapitalist worldviews inasmuch as doing so helps foster linear values sets in which money is the chief determinant of individual worth and merit (e.g. Sony doesn’t care what sort of person you are so long as you have the money and the will to purchase their advertised products).

The net effect of exposure to Paper Television upon those still gullible enough to read it is wholly negative, and may include such side effects as the belief that all humans are fungible, coupled with an insatiable desire to purchase goods (usually on credit) that are neither needed nor affordable to the readers of such textual dreck.

“Wired magazine? That’s just Paper TV for yupscaled dorks! You might as well watch MTV as read that crap…”

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paper boy

Someone who deals drugs, usually heroine.

Lets pick some heroine up from the paper boy

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roll paper

a roll of paper towels

"Yo, pass me that roll paper."

- "You mean a paper towel?"

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toilet paper

an excellent product for masturbation. i cum into it all the time.

toilet paper absorbs my cum

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paper asshole

The little white gummed holes also known as "reinforcements", that are used when you rip the holes in a three-ring sized piece of paper.

"Dammit Jim, I ripped the fucking paper again, bring me the box of paper assholes!"

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Paper Clip

metal used for clippin shit

Hey, Cathy, hand me a paper clip. This shit needs clipping.

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paper planes

A song that is fly like paper and gets high likes planes.

M.I.A.: "I fly like paper, get high like planes."

Basically, paper planes. Enough said.

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