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Happy Mother's Day!
Thanks Mom!
this is for you to make a last minute mothers day gift just press the "get the BEST MOM EVER! mug" button
Usually super nice, and has a great ass! You want to be friends with jace to get closer to his mom!
Guy #1- hey dude did you see jace's mom?
Guy #2- yeah she is banging hot 🔥
1👍 1👎
my mom is literally the worst mother ever, even when logic makes since
ever since that day, my mom got me pregnant
A social media black hole where people who popped kids out of their vaginas talk shit to each other, about each other and judge hardcore followed my saying "no judging here" but really you are.
You become a whole new type of species, divided among mom religions. Crunchy mom, careless mom, hot mess mom, and i should not be a mom-mom. Everyone is looking for friends constantly but also does not want friends but still try to set up play dates that will never happen. This group holds people who are obsessed with wine and coffee addicts who hate their or each others husbands or both. They have their own language and usually at their peak usage while laying in bed when they have nothing to do or just had a fight with their husband.
Jen "Maggie was talking shit"
Hannah "How do you know it was Maggie"
Jen"Maggie is in that mom group"
Hannah: "It was def Maggie"
Who wants to join our mom group? We totally need new friends and play dates.
A mom of one of your friends/patner who loves you but also judges you.
start of day;
"hey honey do you need anything?"
10 minutes later;
"thats a unusual outfit to wear, would your mom allow that"
"your moms a luger mom"
the sexiest mom u will see, see pulls like her son but shes packing more
Damn i like jaden but jadens mom is hotter
The Alt Boho mom does not fall prey to all suburban soccer mom fads and trends, she's not quite crunchy or granola mom, but yet grows her own veggies, or attempts to...but she's a mom. So the back up is to hit her local farmers market. Her house is decorated with plants, mixed with mid century modern vibe, and taxidermy (in the bug variety). She prepares home-cooked meals, but grub hubs from the neighborhood Indian restaurant, weekly. She follows vaccine schedules but breastfeeds until her baby can ask in a full sentence "May I have a boobie please?" She gives birth at home, or a birthing center and dreams of a water birth. For fun She follows true crime podcasts, and solves cold case murders. She has traded in former activities of live music shows in various basements, for watching NPR Tiny Desk Concerts.
Her kids names are unique or inspired by musicians, scientists or vintage family names. They play with wooden, Montessori toys, wear cloth diapers, that she may have a service for. Some are raised gender non-conforming. She lives either in remodeled, vintage, older homes with gay neighbors on each side, or in the suburbs where she takes long trail walks each day.
A conversation between a soccer mom and an alt boho mom sounds like this.
Soccer mom: "Would you like to join me at Orange Theory for a work out?"
Alt Boho Mom: "Do you know what the carbon footprint is of treadmills. Walking outdoors is free, and I just read all this research based information on how it supports your mental health. Also, there was a cold case murder that occurred on this trail and I think I know where."
Soccer mom: "OMG that's horrifying, is it a safe trail for the kids! You should notify neighborhood watch."
Alt Boho Mom: "I'll bring some gluten free fig bars from the co-op and clay for sun screen."
Soccer Mom: "I have to pick up my Subaru outback from its oil change, drop Noah at baseball and pick up Delaney from dance, then I'll be OMW."