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corporate charlie

A successful guy who has nice hair. He is always well dressed, works out daily, and eats chicken.

That guy is so corporate charlie.

by Corporate Charlie July 14, 2017


Corporate Cowboy

In this context, the term “cowboy” has been given a negative connotation. In this sense, "cowboy" refers to those people who shoot around with empty word shells (hollow words or also buzzwords), especially in meetings with word salvos, in order to generate an impression among team members and supervisors to look as competent and intelligent as possible by using a lot of “intelligent or technical” words. This is also referred to as “bullshit-bingo” and causes a lot of hot air and dust but with a “peng-peng-wow-effect”, meaning, firstly, people are highly impressed and intimidated. But over time, team members and supervisors understand that it is just hot air and are in fact annoyed by the cowboy’s apperiance and “wana-be, joke cracking” leadership behaviour.
Their behavior is driven purely by opportunistic and egoistic nature and solely serves to present themselves strategically best in the company or in the team. Supervisors are slimed by the application of cowboyism, whereby people on the same level are run over by renewed word salvos and “peng-peng” gestures, knocked off and/or made mouth-dead.
The basic prerequisite for corporate cowboys is the lack of leadership qualities and incompetence of superiors or the deliberate promotion by other cowboys, who in turn satisfy each other's egoistic spirit in their own cowboy group to the point of neurological orgasm with their fictitious intelligence and pomposity. One calls it also "man round".

This dude is such a bullshit-bingo guy . He is a corporate cowboy......
or
Did you listen to Steve? He was just ..peng peng peng peng peng peng...all the time.

by Azem14 November 22, 2021


Corporate Cowboys

Individuals who work for money for the sake of money. Take care of business for business' sake. Renegades within corporate ranks, fucking up all kinds of bottlenecks and complacency. Rocks the boat and follows the money. Takes "In God We Trust" to literally mean our, the royal "We", trust held in fiat currency. Will break rules AND take credit for it. Not afraid to catch flak. Cutthoat. Guilty by association. Wet you up from the neck up. Originated in the US of A. Pioneered in the Wild West. There is no final frontier...

Example

Person 1: License and registration, please.
Person 2: *hands them papers*
Person 1: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Person 2: Just doing your job?
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 1: You being smart with me?
Person 2: You pulled ME over.
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 1: Okay, I see the registered owner's name and the name on your ID do not match. Care to explain?
Person 2: This... is a company car-
Person 3: Would you like a business card. We're Corporate Cowboys tonight.
Person 1: Oh...Uhhh, no. That won't be necessary. I'm aware of who y'all are... Just doing your job, too, huh?
Person 3: We can't disclose that information.
Person 1: So the owner of this is uhh..?
Person 2: We can't disclose that information.
Person 3: *chuckles*
Person 2: Well, let's wrap this up-
Person 1: W-would you like my name and badge number? My sergeant doesn't have to hear about this...
Person 2: Easy, Officer... We're on the same side here. Technically, we're all Corporate.
Person 3: Yeah, you are the "loss prevention" to our "collections". We never cross, because we never fuck up.
Person 1: So am I being detained?
Person 2: ...
Person 3: ...redacted? Do we take their name and badge?
Person 1: Please?
Person 2: Have a quiet night, Officer. Drive safe.

by el socio October 13, 2018


Corporate Cosplay

The act of when individuals in a white-collar environment masquerade as sophisticated, hi-powered professionals with dreams of innovation and corporate-ladder climbing.

In reality, they are nothing more than simpering, limp mediocrities with little imagination, over-inflated ambition, endless arsenals of vapid buzzwords and half-baked skills that offer nothing to whatever field or industry they happen to be (undeservedly) employed in.

The only thing they happen to share with real professionals who actually do know their shit, are direct as hell and get things done is their passion for their own business attire. Giorgio Armani, Hugo Boss, or hell, even some cheap-ass suit from Target won't hide the fact that these dipshits are out of their depth and pollute the office environment with their infinite, tedious posturing.

Unlike typical cosplay there ain't no hotties strutting around as Wonder Woman and Black Widow, or dudes stomping around as Thor or Batman here. Only simians with ties and lapels are what you can expect.

"Hey Sean, ready to watch the latest round of Corporate Cosplay in the Marketing Dept. Today?"

"Jesus Christ. If I hear the word 'artisan' or 'paradigm' from those fuckwits one more time I'm going to crack some skulls."

by No Man's Skyfall December 15, 2016


Advancement Corporation Of Tomorrow

A company by you, for you. Always invested in the future and how to make it better. Makes AIs to better the world.

Working robots! Amazing fast tech! A step into the future that is so bright!

Advancement Corporation of Tomorrow.

"Advancement Corporation of Tomorrow? Well, you know what they say..."

"You are the future."

by Are you the future? September 8, 2021


corporate rape

This is when a corporation screws you over really badly and your only option is litigation. The cost of legal representation for litigation is tens of thousands of dollars. Therefore, it is almost impossible to find an attorney to represent you if your damages are less than tens of thousands of dollars. Corporations simply use general liability insurance if they are sued. There is no equivalent if you are the plaintiff, which is a very annoying constitutional violation.

I am a victim of corporate rape from xyz corporation, who screwed me over so badly and they spend so much money on attorneys, however, I cannot afford legal representation.

by Pewpewpewrainbows April 20, 2023


corporate war

The Great Corporate War has raged since thee conception of fiat. Organizations, governments, associations, companies and corporations all came up out of the woodwork to battle it out in this realm of stocks, bonds, and mutual funds. Cartels, mafias, and every kind of gang live to make money. Banks live to launder it. We live to spend it and put it in the right hands. The cycle of drugs, murder, skulduggery, and straight fuckery go deep, and continue without cease. Cash is king, and gold is queen. The king can be stretched, but the queen is sacred, feel me. If you have a job you're in the game. Nobody's innocent. Every conflict has been funded and back by government and corporate dollars. And that's the beauty of it. The Corporate War has no end in sight, because fiat is a promise and promises are older than money... It's good vs evil, out here in the streets. It's Corporate War, baby.

Example
Person 1: When do I get my sign up bonus...?
Person 2: HAha what?? There is no sign up bonus. Here's a compensation plan. You have a quota to hit this month.
Person 1: Hehe... okay. What if I can't hit these numbers? They seem a little excessive.
Person 2: Excessive? You signed up during Corporate War and you ain't even in your prime yet. We're gonna make you a killing machine-
Person 1: I'm sorry?
Person 2: A closing machine. I'll tell you if you do anything crazy to hit those numbers and jail in the clink, we can help with an advance on your check and post bail..
Person 1: *wtf...*

by el socio October 13, 2018