bagel eating jew

A person of Jewish ethnicity who does not actively practice Judaism

Guy 1 I practice Judaism all the time
Guy 2 I'm a bagel eating jew

sesame street bagel

Symbol of cognitive dissonance whereby expectation overrides reality. Stemming from the example "I ordered a Sesame Street bagel and they gave it to me with sesame seeds."

That dude was straight up Sesame Street Bagelin' it through life.

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Curious George Bagel

The delicate art of The Curious George Bagel can be mastered by inserting a banana, Musa acuminata, into the anal cavity of ones counterpart, then pulverizing said banana through either consensual or non consensual, yet highly illegal, sodomy. The Curious George Bagel may be served with or without nutty byproduct of said sodomy. The custom blend of banana-nut-defication is forced out from the sphincter and onto a bagel; serve warm.

"Carol wanted a curious george bagel, so I happily obliged."

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cuttin the bagel

To listen to crappy indy music while cutting ones wrist with a seratted knife

I just got this new My Chemical Romance CD, so I went home put it on and started Cuttin the bagel.

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Brooklyn water bagel

Whem you take a dump, and your shit makes a circle at the bottom of the bowl.

Dude, I left you a fresh brooklyn water bagel in the bathroom.

french onion bagel

A bagel with French onion dip on top.
Duh!

I'm going to make a French onion bagel for breakfast

double cheese bagel

A codeword for douchebag. To be used in the presence of a physically intimidating yet none too bright douchebag.

DOUble CHEese BAGel

Steve: Would you like a double cheese bagel?
Douchebag: What the hell? Go get some friends, loser.
Dave: Steve, if he understands that, you're dead.

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