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Abstaining from sexual activities for whatever reason
Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
There are a wide variety of circumstances/choices that may qualify one for induction into the Church of Cliff Richard.
These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love
Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:
And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:
“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”
Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.
Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.
Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”
Saturday 20/12/2008
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A church that practices the literal meaning of the bible. They believe that the Tsunami was a good thing because it killed 'fags' and 'dykes'. They also believe Hurricane Katrina was 'God's' way of punishing America because apparently, in their opinion, 'God hates America'. These guys are a bunch of sad, uneducated, religious kooks who need to stop dictating what 'God' thinks, because how would they know? The answer is they don't. They construct a 'God' figure as a way to express their personal views on the world, these people make me sick and I can only hope that one day they will forget about prejudice and hate.
According to the Westboro Baptist Church, God Hates Fags, God Hates America, God Hates Sweden, God Hates Canada, and after this definition is posted God will apparently Hate Australia because that's where I am from!
How can anyone take these people seriously?
1484👍 219👎
A church full of fundamentalist retards brainwashed by Fred Phelps. They think that homosexuals are a disgrace to mankind, thus coming up with their bullshit slogan "God Hates Fags". They actually picketed and spoke this bullshit at the funerals of select U.S. troops that fought in the Iraq War, and they also picketed at Matthew Shepard's funeral. They also believe that 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, and the Asian tsunamis were "a blessing from God". They spit and wipe their asses on the Bible, abusing its real meaning. This is a cult so fucked up that not even someone with even a tiny bit of sanity would dare join.
Westboro Baptist Church is a nightmare for the sane, leftist people of America.
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A 'church' that hates (but says God hates) everybody but themselves.
They should go all out and say 'God hates people who aren't members of the Westboro Baptist Church'
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Imagine a white church girl, then imagine a brown girl. Then put those stereotypes together and you get this rare specimen. They’ll fuck you in a parking lot on Saturday night but still go to church the next morning like a church girl. But they’ll also have to whisper everytime they’re on FaceTime with you so her parents can’t hear her talking to a guy and also never be allowed to leave the house just like a brown girl. Despite all of this, however, if you meet one you should never let her go. Because she may change your life forever.
Oh look, it’s that brown church girl Karen. I heard her fucking her secret BF in the parking lot last night.
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A non-christian church, violates christian ideology while claiming to belive in it, discrinates gay's, lesbians, cross-dressers, transexuals, intersexuals, catholics, muslims and jews. Claims that god hates homosexuals, despite the fact that god was happy with all that he created (as said in Genises) and also is evil. Not to be confused with your average baptist church.
God hates fags!
I think god hates Westboro Baptist Church
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A religious extremist group based in Topeka, Kansas lead by Fred Phelps. The church is made of mainly the Phelps family because nobody else is screwed up enough to join. Phelps's daughter, Shirley Phelps-Roper is the main spokesperson for the church, making appearances on talk shows, radio shows, and the news to be verbally abused by those with common sense. The main focus of the church is that God hates everything and everyone besides the members of the church. In their minds, God's wrath on humanity is the death of our sons and daughters in Iraq. The group is easily most famous for its frequent protests and rallies at military funerals and other funerals that they feel like showing up at. They hold up signs that display vulgar messages and images, trying to get our attention. It gets our attention, but not the kind they want. The Westboro Baptist Church has also been called the most hated family in America, which is appropriate.
The Westboro Baptist Church's main website is called "godhatesfags.com." Another site by them is "godhatesamerica.com." Wow.
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