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Fuck if I know... Just go have sex with your girlfriend, or boyfriend
Hey Jeff, I'm taking your Grandma to Applebee's, HARD!
5👍 8👎
This is a damn good night. Its one of those nights that turns in to a story that you can tell at work and have people hanging off your every word.
O my sweet Jesus last night was Fucked. This moring i woke-up With
two midgets and my grandma
6👍 15👎
To masturbate while eating out old women-also known as playing Counter Strike.
Man, go read grandma a bed time story.
6👍 20👎
The ultimate flex. Commonly used in influx situations when faced with complex disparities. Is a comical term, used by the longest of dong men.
Ay that mf potato flammin, my grandma got a vasectomy.
1👍 1👎
Movie reference from the Adam Sandler film “Happy Gilmore” in which a nursing home orderly, played by Ben Stiller, authoritatively tells Happy’s grandmother that he "runs the show" at the nursing home.
Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a warm glass of milk? It helps me go to sleep.
Nursing Home Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up. Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in my world now, grandma.
Friend 1: You are beating me in one-on-one basketball by a score of 20-0!
Friend 2: You're in my world now, grandma.
23👍 5👎
you see it’s facts ur grandma looks extra hot on that ventilator but yk what’s hotter ur grandpa in a speedo
you-“is ur grandma hot?”
idk-“no do you think she looks hot or something?”
you-“ur grandma looks hot on a ventilator but yk what’s hotter ur grandpa in a speedo”
When somebody points out that the excuse you just gave is not plausible, you admit defeat and say "I meant my other Grandma" to offer another, alternative but also implausible excuse.
Comes from the Irish soccer player Stephen Ireland, who refused to play a match as he said his Grandma had died. When it was proven she was alive, he then used the excuse "I meant my other Grandma" (who was also alive).
"Hey dude, want to go and grab a beer?"
"I can't, I have to study for my exam"
"We don't have any exams until April"
"I meant my other Grandma"
"Want to go catch a movie?"
"I can't, I'm meeting Leo"
"Leo is on vacation in Mexico"
"I meant my other Grandma"