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michael murphy

has tangly hair and needs a new shirt

michael murphy needs to go shopping.

by michaelmurphysbiggestfans November 18, 2018


Murphy's Law of Foul-Weather Gear

"If you 'prepare for the worst' by bringing along extra jackets/gloves, an umbrella, etc., then the skies will be sunny and mild all the time you're 'out 'n' about'. But if you decide to leave all that stuff behind at home and set out on your trip in just your ordinary street-clothes, there'll be a bleepin' MONSOON or HURRICANE!

The morning started out kinda overcast and nippy, so I brought an umbrella, thick hoodie-jacket, and gloves with me when I set out to run some errands around town. Well, naturally, once I got a fair distance from home and thus I didn't wanna traipse all the way back to put everything away again, the sun came out and the day got really warm, and so I was just feverishly lugging all that extra stuff around with me for nothing... classic case of "Murphy's Law of Foul-Weather Gear", I guess.

by QuacksO May 18, 2019


Murphy's Draw

A term for when you draw a card during Cards Against Humanity that would've been perfect to use in the current round. Also applies to any other card games where you draw a card before the events of a round play out.

Card Tzar: "I hate when my neighbour leaves ______ in my yard."
-All players hand in their card-
Player: "Damn, Murphy's Draw. I just drew 'landmines'.

by SkyeTheKnumpty March 20, 2021


Murphy's Roller Coaster Law

The law states that if you wait in line, usually an hour or more, for a roller coaster, that coaster will break down just before you get on it. The breakdown in this case forces you to miss the ride.

After waiting for 2 hours to ride Kingda Ka, it just HAD to break down on me! Murphy's roller coaster law at work!

by Always Obsessing July 10, 2023


Murphy's Law Of Windshield-Damage

"You can leave a pitted/abraded/scratched/bubbled/discolored windshield in your car till 0%!$@&# Doomsday and it will never get hit, but then just as soon as you actually REPLACE said "ancient" glass wif a brand new one, THAT'S when you'll get a bleepin' BIG OL' PEBBLE tossed up by a passing vehicle, and star-crack your nice shiny-fresh windshield all to Hell!"

After several years I eventually got sick and tired of all da misty triplex-haze on my car's original-from-the-factory windshield, and so I finally replaced it --- wouldn't you know that the VERY NEXT DAY it got a huge crack in it after a rock got thrown up by the wheel of a passing dump-truck! Ahhhhrrrggggghhhhh... classic case of Murphy's Law Of Windshield-Damage, I guess!!

by QuacksO July 31, 2018


Samantha Murphy

If this is your name you probably don’t wash your hair enough.

“Why is that person’s scalp so greasy?”

“Oh, that’s just Samantha Murphy.”

by miso_olive_soup November 24, 2021


Murphy-Jarvis

When a drivers Ed students hit the barrel while parallel parking during the drivers test.

You failed your drivers test by pulling a Murphy-Jarvis!

by Coach Jackson December 3, 2021