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When you set your alarm half hour/ hour early to make time for sex before work
Steve- ' Damm the alarm's gone off an hour early, what are we going to do for the next hour' ?
Alice- ' Dont worry, that's just the sex alarm' !
46👍 11👎
Nickname for smoke detectors, based on their inability to tell the difference between a fire and someone cooking.
I was fixing a steak, and the cooking alarm went off. Fire department came and everything.
10👍 1👎
Similar to the common alarm clock it is designed to wake up the recipient; the main difference being that a book is used (as opposed to a shotgun) by a second person and most commonly with a great deal of force. It is similar to a cock slap except that the relevant genitalia is replaced with a large book.
Christoph was asleep in Geography so I used the old book alarm to get him up.
A monster that screams at you in the morning until you make you make it shut up or put it back to sleep. After it stops screaming, it compels you to get up and get ready for the day. Some say it's witchcraft, but it could be made by warlocks.
Alarm Clock: GET UP!!!! RAWR!
Person: *says sleepily* Ugh. *turns off alarm clock*
Misuse of a safety mechanism, like a fire alarm, danger hotlines or report buttons on a website, to censor speech without regard to the intent of the safety mechanism.
A type of rulebombing.
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Fire alarming is a problem, because it:
(a) disrespects actual instances of dangerous events the mechanism is designed to prevent, and
(b) causes people who have to monitor uses of that safety mechanism to show skepticism to future uses of that safety mechanism, since the number of serious instances are diluted.
I posted a video critical of this girl's ideology on YouTube, but now all of her supporters are fire alarming me.
72👍 22👎
A device which insecure people waste money on because they are afraid their sacred, shiny cars will be stolen. Since about 99.9% of car alarms are false alarms, however, the owners eventually forget why they got the alarm in the first place, and get used to their cars crying wolf after a few occurrences.
Occasionally this will encourage angry neighbors to do whatever they can to put themselves and these useless devices out of their misery. This may include vandalizing the offending cars until they can disarm the screeching, honking, blaring whiners. Therefore, car alarms actually lead to more damage than good, and are one of the most foolish inventions in the history of mankind.
For the fiftieth time in two weeks, the car alarm went off triggered by a bird who perched itself on the trunk, which caused a neighbor to get a baton and whack the offending automobile until he was able to get to the alarm and break it in two. Five minutes later, as the commercial break arrived during the action thriller movie, the car owner came out. Suddenly he realized that the alarm he had originally came to stop was no longer blaring away. He then saw the damage to his precious luxury and fainted.
35👍 10👎
The act of going up to a sleeping person, bending over, and waking them up by farting near their face.
Bob was sleeping, so I decided to wake him up with a fart alarm.
9👍 1👎