Chair

A thing that is sat on.

IT'S A CHAIR!!!
OHH!!!
IT'S A CHAIR!!!!!
It's a chaaaaair!!!
Jeez. That was a highlight

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chair

noun: a platform for sitting on. Usually consists of hard, sturdy legs and a cushioned platform with lumbar support.

verb: To use a chair (see above) to deliver a beating or severely hurt someone. Usually, threats involving chairs are used by wannabe gangsters as a means to intimidate others.

noun:
What a comfy chair...I could play CS on this all day...

verb:
1: What the **** are you looking at?
2: (begins explaining that he means no harm, tries to calm (1) down)
1: SHUT UP OR I'LL CHAIR YA!
2: Ok.
1: NAH, SHUT THE **** UP OR I'LL CHAIR YA RIGHT NOW!

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in chair

The action of masturbation; essentially a replacement for "masturbating". Parallel to the meaning of "in bed", with the meaning of masturbation rather than having sex.

Pulled from the fact that most masturbation is done in a chair in front of a computer.

1: Man, I had a great time last night.
2: Were you in bed with someone?
1: Nope, I was just in chair, that's all.

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Chaired

Alike to benching a footballer. One of the boys on a night out is so inebriated that hes been seated by force until the taxi arrives

Aldo was so pissed we chaired him at the pub

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chairness

From plato's republic. A word of the "day" in Academic Decathlon.
Litteraly, likeness to a chair. In its true form, how much this object, only a representation of, is like its true incarnation.

The chairness of this bee is at an improbability of imaginary one.

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chair

Device used to stimulate sensual peasure by vibrating when placed against the genitalia.

God, this chair feels so good in my ****!

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The Chair

For a girl, the chair may mean the casual dumping place of clothes you don’t want to fold.

For a guy, let’s just say there are some very questionable stains and you have to debate if you really want to sit there and how safe it is.

Girl 1: You really need to clean the chair, it’s monstrous!
Girl 2: Yeah I know it’s getting out of hand.
Or
Guy 1: Dude, did you clean the chair?
Guy 2: Nah I might use it again.