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•funny
•great to vent to
•stupid💀
•loves to dance to “Gucci Gang”
•popular
•lots of people like him
•a GREAT friend
•loves to say “dingus” and “the hecc”
•loves football
•is a duck
Christian- “you look like a duck the hecc”
8👍 3👎
The most perfect boy I have ever laid eyes on, and he is the sweetest and loveliest person you could ever meet. He believes all girls of every shape, size, nationality and race is beautiful, and he isn't afraid to tell them so. He also offers anyone a shoulder to cry on, and helps make them feel better just by smiling at them :)
He adores football, and is an amazing football player :) His favourite team is Manchester City.
He makes your heart melt and gives you butterflies just by sending you a text. He is amazing, and I love him no matter what. I have always loved him, through bad and good, and I always will, I'm so glad he's mine.
Chloe: I love you more than anything in the world xxxxxx
Christian: I love you so much, you are my world <3 xxxxxx
14👍 8👎
christian is a fucking girl who is so damn tired of looking up a defention of her name & it popping up defentions about guys or religious shit
“fuck allaatt bullshit” Christian says CHRISTIAN THE GIRL sAyS
14👍 7👎
n. A Christian is someone who believes an omnipresent omnibenevolent deity exists who understands and comprehends everything in all of it's intricacies, no matter how small or mundane. Perhaps more miraculous than the being itself is the unwavering denial, even in the wake of 9/11, and Slavery, and the Holocaust, and the child sex rings in Cambodia, and the dark ages, and the use of an atomic bomb...twice...on civilians.
"Police say a Forrest City, Arkansas man has been charged with raping his 8 day-old baby."
Child: Mom why did the man hurt the baby?
Mother: Well sweety, the baby simply didn't pray hard enough, if the baby had been a good christian and taken notes, not only would it have avoided rape, but would be rich and peeing on underage girls like that upstanding R. Kelly fellow. That man can pray, and it shows! *sigh* It's good to know that there's a force of perfect good keeping everything in balance
194👍 162👎
A person who believes a person named Jesus died because he claimed he was God, and supposedly came back to life by unexplained scientific means. Their religious text "The Bible" is divided into two parts, each one contradicts the other. They also share the first half of "The Bible" with the Jewish faith, however they disagree with most of it.
In some weird fashion, Christians identify their Deity (God) as three people in one, explained below.
Jesus- The son, God is somehow his child.
God- The father. Weird.
Ghost- The third part, which we really never hear about but plays a huge role in our "salvation".
Christians are usually identified by their social nature, their biblical teaching tells them to love on another and constantly spread the word of Christ (The Bible). Pretty much Christians are recognized because they are complete assholes, or pussies. Generally the kid who sits at lunch hall alone, and cries at break period. Be wary, if you associate with them they will probaby shove the word down your throat.
Christian: Hello, Good sir! I would like to share the word of Christ, who is also God and the Holy Ghost at the same time!
Person: .....What?
God: Jesus, I am your father's nephew's uncles brother's sister's brother's father's son.
Jesus: I know, for Christianity is the most clear text in the universe. I wrote it!
Parent: You must believe in Christ, or else we will disown you!
Child: But Mom.....!
Parents: Silence! You must be stoned to death for disobedience! (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)
188👍 162👎
Those who practice the religion Christianity.
Sometimes reffering to a name of a person.
They can be found anywhere. They are very easily recognized by seeing if they carry these traits.
Narrow minded, homophobic, sexist and often found believing in imaginary friends.
Common beliefs of a Christian.
- homosexuality is wrong.
- that an imaginary supreme being called god loves them.
- Oh my gawd, Christian is moving schools!
- Oh god, that Christian preacher was annoying as hell.
224👍 196👎
A person who believes that Christ is their Savior. Most are kind and polite, but some are complete snobs about it. The latter gets extremely offended when someone has a difference of opinion religiously, but still go around saying everybody else is wrong and that they are going to hell for not having faith. Especially aggressive towards Atheists.
Atheist: I don't believe in God.
Christian 1: I do. That's cool, though.
Christian 2: You're an atheist? FUCK YOU! You're going to hell! Christians have to rule the world!!!11 We should kill all Atheists!!!!1!!
144👍 122👎