penis grief

That’s when you wake up in the middle of the night and look at the person next of you and say:

“Somebody help me. I just fucked a lady”

Johnny: I woke up last night with penis grief

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Grief Hipster

A grief hipster is someone who, upon the death of a celebrity/well known public figure, will profess "Well, I don't give a shit they died. And you know what? This obscure other person died and nobody but me cared!" to show that not only are you being a sheep for being upset a public figure died but that they found someone more obscure to mourn than you.

Grief Hipster: "You're upset Witney Houston died? Well did you know about {insert totally obscure soldier who died in the Iraq War's name}? He died the same day and you don't see millions of people upset about it! I'm better at grieving than you are because I knew he died and you didn't!"

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Grief Grabber

One who competitively posts obituaries of deceased relatives in the hopes of receiving all the condolences before other relatives do. This requires a keen strealthness and complete lack of proper social tack.

Courtney is such a Grief Grabber she posted her Uncles Obituary on FB before his wife!

Grief Beard

When a man starts growing a beard after a traumatic event (usually a breakup possibly a death) and continues to grow said beard until he's done grieving (read: rebound).

Sometimes this can be counterproductive since some dudes look like a serial rapist when they grow a beard, thus lengthening the grieving process and the beard.

Good thing Drew hoooked up with another chick so soon or else his grief beard would've looked like Al Gore's after the 2000 election.

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Grief jerkey

grief jerkey is any cooked meat that is eaten during periods of intense greiving over the loss of a loved one. Typically the meat is of the portable variety such as cold cuts, hot dogs, or when doing things properly..sausage. Grief jerkey is well known to be beloved by the Irish, and is typically enjoyed out of the back of an open car trunk in the parking lot of a funeral home after a wake or funeral service.

(overheard at Tone's wake) "Hey Schmitty...grab me another cold one and toss me a piece of grief jerkey while you are at it"

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good grief

Charlie Brown's, Linus's, Lucy's, and maybe even Pig Pen's favorite exclamation to express frustration.

Good grief, Lucy! Why'd you have to pull the football away again?

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Grief Bacon

Excess weight gained from emotion-related overeating.

"Does Donna look different to you?"

"Yeah, since her break up up with Jack, she's gained about 10 pounds of grief bacon."

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