Rural Dictionary

Mario Kart Wii

Unfortunately, the worst Mario Kart Game ever made, even though all the faults circle around little aspects of the game.

Fault 1
The biggest fault in Mario Kart Wii is the multiplayer mode--namely the balloon battle; in the Mario Kart predecessors such as Mario Kart:Double Dash the balloon battle was all about popping the opponent's balloons and when all the opponent's balloons were popped, the opponent would be eliminated from that round. On the Wii version however, popping an opponents balloon would give you a point and when all the opponents balloons are popped, they lose a point.
To be fair though, the coin battle is better due to the fact that the AIs actually go for the coins.

Fault 2
Fault 2 is the dreadful music given to some of the new courses such as the new Bowser's castle where the music is almost muted and maple treeway (which the music is absolutely terrible for the course). Not only that, there are a couple of notes at the start of a course on the first lap, they used to do this on the 3rd lap as well but in the Wii version they don't.
Being fair though Koopa cape and DK snowboard cross have really good music.

Fault 3
The star ranking system on this game is harsh and competitive, Mario Kart was never meant to be really competitve because the whole point was to win. Mario Kart DS had a ranking system but it was just a skill indicator and didn't affect the game, whereas Mario Kart Wii requires you get 1 star rank on specific courses to unlock new bikes and characters--note that even people who are good at Mario Kart struggle to get 1 star due to the harsh AI and the biggest indicator of all, so how is a five year old going to manage!

Fault 4
The biggest indicator of all in the last section drives hate and fear into every Mario Kart racer to have ever existed, yes, it's that peice of flying Blue overpowered peice of doom called the Blue Shell.
The Blue Shell makes Mario Kart but in Mario Kart Wii, the Blue shell appears too frequently, it makes you go all the way back to 7th place and lowers your star rank. This item even appears in coin runners (the coin battle), even then it only seems to hit you.

Fault 5
The items on Mario Kart Wii are better overall but there are several nasty items.
Thunderbolt: appears far too frequently unlike it's predecessors where thunderbolts were rare
POW Blocks: this item was completely unessecary and is very annoyingly frequent
Thundercloud: makes you tiny after a certain period of time but can be passed on, it's a dud item basically.
Bullet bill: autopilots you to first and hits everyone along the way
Although, the mega mushroom was a good edition to the game.

Fault 6
Some of the new tracks are AWFUL, such tracks would be coconut mall (why did they need to add the miis), maple treeway (the worst track ever) and rainbow road (which is stupidly hard).

Fault 7
The Cpu's are stupidly difficult to beat and unlike all predecessors, Mario Kart Wii uses the rubber band technique so only Cpu karts can get a boost to catch up with all the other racers to be in with a chance of winning

Fault 8
There are 12 racers now, 8 was enough; on top of that, there is no 2 player Grand Prix, this is mean.

Fault 9
What is the deal with stunts, they are completely unessecary and ruin the game.

Fault 10
Why did they have to include Funky kong? he is faster than every other character and has the ugliest painted bikes/karts and over-reacts when he gets a boost or does a stunt like shouting waaaaahoooooo at the top of his voice. Every person uses him in time trials so it is really unfair on those who want to be good with yoshi or Dry Bowser but have to use Funky Kong

Fault 11
If they updated the system so the time cheat is fixed, why do people take massive shortcuts that cut 30 seconds from a time trial; these people aren't experts, they are cheats!!!

The only good thing that is new is the much improved karts that actually look proper, bikes are okay but they kind of take the whole point out of Mario Kart.
The graphics are the same as Mario kart Double Dash but the cars feel like they move at 10 MPH, meaning they had to slow down the cars to avoid the game overloading.

This actually happened to me.
I got 2 stars instead of 3 on 50CC shell cup because even though I drove round the courses perfectly while drifting and avoiding bananas, I was pummeled by 10 blue shells, 20 red shells, 7 POW blocks and 5 Thunderbolts. I still got 60 points though, so Mario Kart Wii's mechanics are wrong and stupid.

by DoomBowser February 21, 2009

33👍 196👎

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