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cole swanson

really hot guy or girl that loves to make out with girls/guys at a young age and is not good at math but gets all the good girls that are really hot and gets to fuck at a young age. he gets in trouble alot and gets grounded hes all right at fortnite. if you find a cole swanson you will love him forever and you better get ready for it he might want to go raw!

he likes to fuck so you better get ready who ever finds a cole swanson

by k,jmhgfvgbnhjmyuhgtrfdc October 8, 2018

1πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Conrad Swanson

a poor ass bitch, who pretends too be all ghetto, but in real life he just ends up as a gay/poor/poser bitch.

Me and my mom wasted all our money on lonnies blow jobs.

by Conrad Swanson September 11, 2004

3πŸ‘ 8πŸ‘Ž


Ron Swanson Shot

Whiskey mixed with gravy and consumed through a hollowed sausage link. Garnished with bacon. (can be iced)

Ingredients:
1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger of whiskey
A splash of gravy
Bacon

Directions:
1. Fill cocktail shaker with whiskey and gravy. (add ice if you want it chilled)
2. Shake like a madman.
3. Pour into glass.
4. Drink shot
5. Eat meat
6. Fuck bitches

I wasn't feeling manly enough today so I made a Ron Swanson Shot and then had copious amounts of intercourse with beautiful women for the remainder of the day.

by BarnabyHardwick March 26, 2013

498πŸ‘ 8πŸ‘Ž


Joe Swanson Syndrome

Occurs when someone goes further than skipping leg day, but completely neglects them. The result is an individual who has scrawny legs and a masculine upper body.

Athlete 1: Man dude, I just benched 405!
Athlete 2: What's your squat?
Athlete 1: Squat? 135.
Bystander 1: Man, that guy has some serious Joe Swanson Syndrome.

by SwegWrestlur April 23, 2016


swanson pyramid of greatness

if your not living your life by it, your living wrong.

the ron swanson pyramid of greatness is a pyramid chart of the most badass TV character ever introduced to the fucking planet. it slowly teaches you how to be destined to become a badass white guy stuck as director of park and recreations at a small town in indiana who hates government but works in it as well. a dedicated fellow, this chart will make you a ron swanson.

"If you have any complaints, questions, or concerns, deal with it yourself, like an adult."
-Ron Swanson

"the swanson pyramid of greatness taught me how to be the perfect american and not some uncultured swine like the fucker reading this"

by mr swanson July 31, 2018


Emily Ann Swanson

A brat who throws tantrums and is a wannabe furry. Mostly 7-10 years old but maybe 6. She seems like an angel, because of her very light blonde hair and brunette freckles, but is a devilish brat who doesn’t care about what other people tell her what to do, like her mother and father. :’)

Emily Ann Swanson is a brat

by Mei mei ;) July 16, 2022

3πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Joe Swanson Syndrome

When you break your legs by risking your fucking life! Only idiots do this, and the definition namer did.

Jin: Jim just got the Joe Swanson Syndrome by trying to jump on top of a tiny ant.
Jerry: WHAT THE FUCK?
Jin: Yup, your friend broke his legs!

by McBoobs (IHateShitters) October 9, 2020

3πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž