Tesco Value Vodka

Oh sweet aqua vitae!

Britain's cheapest vodka brand, only available in Tesco stores.

It has become the staple alcoholic beverage of students and tramps across the United Kingdom, usually mixed with equally low budget soft drinks.

When exposed to freshers this beverage, above all others, has been proven to result in events of great hilarity and/or death.

Many theories surrounding the actual ingredients of this mythical elixir exist, it is most probably fermented primarily from the alcohol soaked clothing of dead Irish men - giving it that slight after taste of Guinness... and corpse.

Adam: "Have you seen Xander recently?"

Ben: "Aye, last night, he'll be out of it for a while though - he downed a bottle of Tesco Value Vodka"

Adam: "Oh S###! What happened?"

Ben: "He got naked and spent the entire evening singing Burlington Burtie then tried to burn down Kings"

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tesco meal deal

The British national meal, usually perfected by a sandwich, a pack of crisps and a coke.

Fuck roast beef lol

Bro what are u having for Sunday Lunch

Dude I’m having a Tesco Meal Deal

That’s well cool mate

tesco car park

A meeting place where chavs hang out and is the main meeting place for fishy dealings.

"ey Connor, wanna go down to the Tesco car park in the Corsa and have a sesh"

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Tesco Value Lemmings

The Tesco Value Lemming is the natural evolution of the ordinary lemming, sped up by the effect of nuclear radiation from Tesco's main power source. The Tesco Value Lemming is blue and white, and leaps off doorsteps and low shelves.

Occasionally more daring ones can be bred which will jump off fences, windowsills or use tiny bikes to leap over pits of spikes or flames. They are generally taken as the alpha males of the group, or "shop floor", until the mis-judge a jump and plummet to their death in the frozen foods section.

"I was going to buy a hamster today, but I found two Tesco Value Lemmings for only 99p!"

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tesco toe bangers

clarks shoes or school shoes XD

yo look at ya self neek with your tesco toe bangers (Bad shoes school shoes ect...)

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Tesco Value Cider

A vile alcoholic liquid (4.2% abv) that mainly tastes of chemicals rather than apples. "Usually drunken by tramps"

"I have no money i will have to buy Tesco Value Cider"

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Tesco Car Park

A kingdom, home to driver royalty such as King Papa Tomlinson III, he watches over his kingdom every night as he handbrake turns around the area whilst on balloons

Behold Tesco Car Park