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The act of shitting out the digested remains of a crumpet, placing it on one’s hand, and slapping one in the genitals until they orgasm uncontrollably leaving them paralysed.
Steve, I’m horny. Give me a crumpet crippler.
When a fat drunk ape opens 5x HU while chewing on a stale cheese curl that he pulled from his back fat
Things were going ok until he started running the Crisco Crippler with 42o and flopping the wheel. What a retarded manatee.
Any sexual act that leaves the female sore enough to complain the following day, specifically a modified missionary position with the males arms hooked under the females knees and holding her by the arms.
Why your girl walking funny?
Oh I gave her the cooter crippler last night.
The crippler occurs when an individual is taking a shit and they are hunched over in pain, ass naked, and basically "crippled" due to the sheer intensity of their dump.
I'm sorry but I can't make it to the gym today. I'm ass naked, hunched over on the shitter because of my crippler.