You blow your father with that mouth?

A solid comeback for when you're getting roasted but they say a bad word so you respond with this.

Tony: you blow your father with that mouth?
Black guy from the hood: the fuck did you just say to my sister?
Tony's son: so that's a crack ho

You bet your dick and balls

A phrase said when something is sure to happen. A guarantee.

Example 1
Don: You going to the ice cream social tonight?
Craig: You bet your dick and balls I am!

Example 2
Craig: Are you trading that Carlton Fisk baseball card?
Don: You bet your dick and balls I am!

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Thank you for your interest

HRese for saying no.

Generic Rejection Email: Thank you for your interest in Acme Corporation.

Applicant: Finally a response! I waited 3 months for this!!

Generic Rejection Email: We have decided to move on to other candidates more talented and qualified for you.

Applicant: ...oh.

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You lost your gawtamn socks?!

Have you lost the fucking plot?!?!

(Brought to you from the scrupulous, impervious and enigmatic Steven Haynes. Remember no d's in gawtamn. Pause.)

Dad: Son, take out the trash.
Son: You take out the trash.
Dad: You lost your gawtamn socks?!

However you cook your chicken

An analogy used to respond to someone who has an odd method of doing something, one that is different to the normal way and different to your way of doing it.

John: How are you getting to work tomorrow?
Bill: I’m planning on riding a unicycle
John: However you cook your chicken then.

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Did you get your tickets?

To the gun show! *Flexes muscles*

Johnny: Hey, Cindy, Did you get your tickets?

Cindy: To what?

Johnny: To the gun show! *Flexes his muscles so hard he rips his shirt*

Cindy: *Orgasm*

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you dropped your gay card

A joke played on an unsuspecting person, resulting in apparent 'proof' of their homosexuality.

Person 1: You dropped your gay card.

Person 2 turns round to look before fully realising what Person 1 has said.

Person 1: Hahaha! You must have a gay card! You're gay!!!!

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