GUM Clinic

Genitourinary Medicine (GUM) Clinic

The place you visit when you realise you should have worn a condom, or just realised that dogs are for life not for fucking.

Also a good place to gather contestants for the Jeremy Kyle show.

For example

Bill Cosby: Hey Leonard, you should get down the GUM Clinic

Leonard Nimoy: Hey fuck you Bill, why should i do that?

Bill Cosby: Last night when you were pissed you fucked Shatner bareback

Leonard Nimoy: Oh ffs, again?

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clinical depression

The same exact thing as depression, but usually more severe. Fluffed up with the world 'clinical' to make the problem seem medical.

depressed person: im miserable

psychiatrist: oh no no no you have clinical depression

depressed person: fuck you who cares about your technicalities

psychiatrist: theres a totally different brain structure

depressed person: no there isnt you just made that up

psychiatrist: um...i dunno

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Clinical Depression

A more severe branch of depression. It's also referred to as Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), or if even more severe and longer lasting, Chronic Major Depressive Disorder (C-MDD/CMDD)

normal person: I have clinical depression
a wise man named CORPSE: CLINICAL FUCKING DEPRESSION

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crawl-in clinic

With hospitals, emergency rooms and ambulances over-taxed with COVID-19 patients, the strip-mall medical facility where you seek care for almost anything.

Having every symptom of massive heart failure, he managed to drive to the crawl-in clinic, a place he'd normally go for a cut finger. In the pandemic, it was his only option.

Clinical Plushcanthropy

A condition in which the sufferer thinks they are turning into a plush toy or a doll like a Beanie Bopper and expresses desire to live like a typical doll or toy you would expect a little girl to have. Sometimes it reverts their mind to an immature or infantile state which makes them act like a toddler or a baby akin to infantilism.

Clive panted as he raved about how he felt he was turning into a teddy bear, he had Clinical Plushcanthropy and he had to be sent to the asylum.

spit clinic

(n.) a place where people can go to spit on other people. The act of spitting can be in another persons mouth, on body or around them. This would resemble some sort of fetish.

Mary said to Jane, "Hey girl, I'm free today and I'm feeling frisky, let's go to the spit clinic."
Jane replied, "me too, pick me up at 12:30pm."
Mary responded "I'm hacking up loogies right now for practice, see you soon gurrrrl"

A Clinic's ramble

A clinic's ramble is a term referring to an insane (diagnosed, -clinic- or not.) persons ramble about something. Could be about anything, nothing in particular.

Friend 1: "Hey man, where were you? You've been gone for an hour!"

Friend 2: "Sorry, I was listening to a clinic's ramble."