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The chocolate factory (as in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) of the law profession, where desperate attorneys work for a pittance, like Oompa Loompas working for cacao beans. Except in Insurance Defense, the attorneys don't smile and sing happy songs.
I went to a ttt, and now I do insurance defense. In a sad and cruel twist of fate, I can't even afford the insurance rates of my own clients, so my teeth are rotting away, and the pinched nerve in my groin is making me incontinent.
156👍 56👎
When asked about a jizz stain left on a sofa, t-shirt, towel, etc. one will often use the toothpaste defense
To avoid embarrassment, Danny used the toothpaste defense when his mother inquired about the sticky white stains all over his laundry.
Mom: Danny, I've been going through your laundry, and I've discovered a multitude of sticky white stains on almost all your clothes
Danny: It's just toothpaste, ma.
Wise teen: I used the toothpaste defense once, but after that I started doing my own laundry
653👍 269👎
popular method of thwarting muggers. Patented by self defense instructor Brett Kaywood and has proved to be effective in the only laboaratory that matters: The streets. When confronted by a mugger, the method consists of 2 simple steps:
1) Gain wrist control
2) Pull out your gun
This technique can be used in many situations such as:
- You're walking home from work when a mugger confronts you in a back alleyway because he wants crack.
- Your best friend mugs you at his barbacue because he wants your money to buy crack.
- Your mugger is sleeping in their own bed (remember to climb in through the window) and is mugging you for crack.
- Your mugger is bound by the wrists in the trunk of your car and he is mugging you because he needs crack.
Person 1: I heard it was your grandma's 100th birthday today. How did that go?
Person 2: She tried mugging me to buy crack so I used what I learned from Self Defense and pulled out my gun.
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After a friend takes embarassing photos of you (likely involving alcohol-induced activities), staying logged into facebook awaiting aforementioned "friend" to tag said photos of you, allowing you to quickly de-tag them before the rest of the world finds out.
I spent all day sunday playing facebook defense against the photo documentation of last night's debauchery.
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The act in which a man defends himself when his woman is being a nagging pain in the ass.
The act of defending oneself against claims of nagging, which leads a man to become an asshole.
Since my girlfriend picks me apart, I have turned to defensive assholing to make my point.
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Taking necessary precautions and doing as much as you can not to anger actives and avoid getting fucked in the ass by them and get hazed while pledging a fraternity.
Pledge #1: Shit, I didn't get all the tasks done for this week.
Pledge #2: Haha, you're fucked. Be smart and follow defensive pledging. I got my shit done a while ago, so now I can laugh at you while you eat dirt doing pushups tonight.
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To defend yourself without inflicting harm on your opponent.
Richard tried using compassionate defense against his assailant but was overpowered.